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When We Hold onto Relationships That Hurt Us

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than hurt yourself trying to put it back together.” ~Unknown

Human beings are genetically programmed to desire love. Embraces are as important to us as food and water.

Perhaps that’s why when we find someone—the wrong someone—we’re often too blind to see it.

We feel it and yet we hide it away, write it off as an odd case of commitment phobia or just a hiccup in our new relationship, oblivious to the fact that were heading into a future of sleepless nights, constant worrying, and consistent phone checking.…

9 Tips for Anyone Who Dates Emotionally Unavailable People

By in Blog, love & relationships

“When someone tells you who they are, believe them.” ~Maya Angelou

After having been a rebound girl the summer of 2013, I swore I would never get involved with another emotionally unavailable man who had baggage and was a poor communicator.

I thought I was a pro at all of the tell tale signs. Until I met X in 2015.

He came on very strong in the beginning, telling me he deleted his dating app after our first date, that he turned down other dates because he didn’t want to waste time with other girls, and showed me in more …

There’s More Right in the World Than You Might Think

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“When you turn on the television … you run the risk of ingesting harmful things, such as violence, despair, or fear.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I passed the rack of newspapers on my way into story time at the library, ignoring the latest headlines. Murder, mayhem, war, disaster—it all calls like a siren at sea. My pace picks up as I turn the other direction.

My two-year old charge, whom I affectionately call Little Man P, is captivated by the animated librarian. She impresses me with her liveliness and ease in handling a room full of kiddos. It is clear she …

5 Steps to Change Your Perspective and Overcome Your Challenges

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Look again at that dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives.” ~Carl Sagan

I’m there with a hundred other people. The lights fade to a whisper then vanish, leaving us in darkness. Stars appear. Thousands of them, projected onto the dome screen above.

In the center of the screen is Earth with its emerald and amber lands and sapphire oceans frosted by clouds. We watch the planet’s rotation, and then we’re flying backward through space, and the …

A Reason to Feel Less Anxious During Times of Transition

By in Blog, change & challenges

“How ironic that the difficult times we fear might ruin us are the very ones that can break us open and help us blossom into who we were meant to be.” ~Elizabeth Lesser

This past May I graduated from college, where I majored in Environmental Science. I chose this subject for one simple reason: I love learning how the world works.

There are always strong connections to be made between humans and other species. Every time I hear a unique, astonishing fact about other animals, I feel more connected to the world around us rather than more separate.

My latest …

Overcoming Fear-Based Thinking and Creating a Happy Mind and Life

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” ~George Addair

My parents were teenagers when they had their first of three children. I was the middle child. They were uneducated, poor, and had very difficult upbringings.

As I recall my childhood, most of what I remember is how fearful both of my parents were.

They were constantly stressed out about money, the kids, the tattered house, the rusty car, and everything else in their lives.

My mother, my first role model, was so scared of the world. She definitely had an undiagnosed anxiety disorder. She was afraid to …

How to Transform Self-Criticism into Self-Appreciation

By in Blog, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“Stop hating yourself for everything you aren’t. Start loving yourself for everything that you are.” ~Unknown

They stop you dead in your tracks.

Critical thoughts.

Like tiny knives, they slash at your happiness.

In public, you feign confidence. You can easily squish down your critical thoughts. You push yourself to smile, laugh, and even be the life of the party.

But when the dust settles, and you are all alone, the thoughts start, first as a trickle: “I shouldn’t have said that. Why couldn’t I say smarter things?” And then they start to crash harder and stronger with, “I am …

7 Reasons Your Breakup Is A Beautiful Thing

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Watch for big problems. They disguise big opportunities.” ~Ritu Ghatourey

After many years of being the “dumper” in the relationship, I then spent many years being the “dumpee.”

Even after I had worked through all of that karma that I had instilled upon myself, when it came time for my last breakup, it was finally a mutual decision. Still, it left me feeling lost and incomplete.

I had never felt happier with any other man, and at the same time, I knew I deserved better. We both loved each other so much, but we found ourselves growing apart.…

A Tiny Act of Kindness Can Help Someone in a Big Way

By in Blog, love & relationships

I started working in the food industry when I was just twelve years old.

I couldn’t drive, stay out past 11:00pm, or do algebra, but I could easily fill a bag with bagels at a business owned by a close family friend. And so I did, every weekend.

It was a simple job, working the dozen counter. I didn’t even have to ask people how many they wanted (thirteen, a baker’s dozen—that’s just good business!) I only had to ask what kind they wanted, then hand it to them, make change, and send them off with a “Have a nice …

5 Dos and Don’ts for Surviving a Hard Time

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us.” ~Stephen Covey

My partner was a well-respected bank manager in a small country town. He was rising through the bank hierarchy with good prospects for further promotion. We were thought of as a happy, close-knit family that contributed in every way we could to the local community.

Unbeknownst to us, the bank was conducting a re-assessment of their country branches. Several of the smaller banks would close and all staff would be dismissed.

Frightening words were on our lips—redundancy, fear of …

How to Mend a Broken Friendship (Even if You’re Not on Speaking Terms)

By in Blog, love & relationships

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” ~Mother Teresa

I kept thinking about how many years had passed by. Did I really waste four years by not contacting my best friend?

You see, I had a falling out with my close cousin. Growing up together since childhood, we became best friends—more like brothers through the years.

That was until we had a huge disagreement. We didn’t speak for what seemed like forever.

Admittedly, I was the one to blame. Though at that time, I didn’t see it that way.

When someone means a lot to …

Authenticity May Feel Risky But It’s Worth It

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” ~Brené Brown

Growing up I experienced a rollercoaster of emotions. One minute I would be on top of the world and the next I felt overwhelmed by anxiety. I didn’t know how to share my difficult emotions in a healthy way with my friends and family, so I started suppressing them instead.

I realized early on that it felt safe to hide my feelings, because no one could judge me if I kept them to myself. I believed …

How to Turn Your Fear into Excitement So You Can Pursue Your Dreams

By in Blog, change & challenges, meaning & passion

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance.” ~John Lennon

When it comes to facing fear and moving past it in order to see my dreams realized, I was always advised to power through it. Do the thing that scares you, no matter how much it makes your heart pound. Take that step that makes your stomach knot up in tight balls. Do it and power through, or else miss out …

Why Being the Best Is Not the Key to Happiness (And What Is)

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“A bad day for your ego is a great day for your soul.” ~Jillian Michaels

A few weeks ago, when I was feeling a bit down on life, I was surfing through Facebook and found myself getting more and more upset.

There were weddings and vacation photos and posts about promotions and new purchases and all the great things that happen in people’s lives.

These were my friends, and I couldn’t understand why I felt so unhappy. Why did I feel a pit in my stomach that I wasn’t good enough when I heard about someone getting the job of …

How Meditation Calms Your Mind and Makes You Feel More Alive

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“While meditating we are simply seeing what the mind has been doing all along.” ~Allan Lokos

People around the globe have practiced meditation for centuries upon centuries, and it’s quickly becoming one of the most popular pastimes in the modern world. It’s one of the most effective ways to find inner peace, relax, and cope with stress.

I’ve had my share of stress and troubles over the years. I remember one time, nearly eight years ago, when the stress and anxiety really got to me and made my life miserable.

I was facing the prospect of being made redundant at …

The Key to Freedom: Minding Your Own Business

By in Blog, letting go, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

“The day you stop racing is the day you win the race.” ~Bob Marley

Let me take you back to the beginning of my day, how I used to do it.

Flicking through my Facebook newsfeed, clicking on profiles, scrolling through comments, monitoring social interactions, checking how many likes my last post or profile picture got. Then I’m going to my therapist, to talk about how worthless my own life is, how inadequate I feel.

I’m not saving the world, pursuing my passion, making friends, or traveling. Neither am I getting married or engaged nor having children—and I do …

Stop Waiting for Permission to Live the Life You Want to Live

By in Blog, happiness & fun, meaning & passion

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” ~Unknown

I know you.

You’re smart. You’re driven. You’re a “good girl/boy.” You found out a long time ago that life goes more smoothly for people who follow the rules, so you learned the rulebook inside out.

People expected things from you and you made it your job to live up to those expectations—and probably beat yourself up inside when you fell short.

But now you’re stuck, the way anyone who has spent their life making other people happier than they make themselves gets stuck.…

How to Discover the Work That Will Bring You Joy and Purpose

By in Blog, work fulfillment

“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” ~David Viscott

You are a seeker. Searching for more of life. More joy. More depth. More connection. More happiness.

Our generation is not willing to settle for meaningless existence. Just to get by, just to keep it all together. It doesn’t interest us any more.

We want more freedom. Especially in the realm of our work.

But it can seem like a long road between ‘here’ and ‘there.’ From this job, from this life into… the unknown.

We know there is deeper …

How Pain Can Lead to Pleasure and Why We Should Embrace It

By in Blog, change & challenges, healthy habits

“The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow.” ~Unknown

We all hate to suffer, and avoid suffering at all costs. I’ve gone through great lengths to avoid discomfort, pain, and sorrow.

I stayed with the wrong people to avoid the suffering of letting go; I indulged in tasty, fatty snacks to avoid the suffering of not eating them; and I smoked a pack of cigarettes a day to avoid the suffering involved with quitting.

I stayed in bed for longer than I should to avoid the discomfort of waking up when I needed to. I …

10 Simple Ways to Ease Your Anxiety Today

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Smile, breathe, and go slowly.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

As an almost recovered anxiety sufferer I know what it’s like to feel stressed, out of sorts, desperate, and unlike yourself. I know what panic attacks feel like; I’ve had many. I wouldn’t wish them on my worst enemy.

Anxiety can be debilitating and affect every area of your day-to-day life.

I remember about four years ago, when I was feeling so overwhelmed and anxious I could barely leave my house. I had three young children at the time. It was all I could do to get through each day.

Just …