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How Emotional Pain Can Cause Us to Act “Crazy” in Relationships

“We all exist in our own personal reality of craziness.” ~Alejandro Jodorowsky 

Most of us have heard stories of “crazy” women (and sometimes men) and psycho exes. They are our friends, boyfriends’ exes, family members, and sometimes they can even be us.

Often people (including ourselves) are quick to judge these people. We write them off as emotional wrecks. We label them. We shame them. It’s hard not to judge when we are not equipped with the tools to deal with behaviors we don’t understand.

It’s even harder to feel empathy when we experience suffocation and feel our boundaries …

Highs and Lows are a Part of Life – It’s Okay to Feel Down Sometimes

“It’s okay to not be okay.” ~Unknown

I’ve been depressed before in my life; very depressed.

When I was at my worst (more than once), it felt as though I was locked in a dark cave with no visible way out. Every way I turned led me to another cold rock wall that stopped me from moving ahead.

And then the exhaustion… how can you make it out alive when you don’t even have the energy to find a way out? I would curl up in a ball in my little cave and sleep for hours, so as not …

Be Your Own Role Model: Visualize Your Way to Your Goals

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

One day, I’d had enough.

I heated up my yoga studio, rolled out my mat, and prepared to change this voice that I am embarrassed to admit torments me every day.

I stood at the top of my mat, closed my eyes, and tuned into my inner voice.

“I am tired.”

“I should …

Most of the Things We Fear Are Highly Unlikely to Happen

“Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.” ~Dorothy Thompson

Australia is full of biting, pecking, threatening animals.

Swarms of mosquitos puncture our skin every summer, flies are everywhere, we’ve got spiders bigger than my hand, our magpie birds swoop and peck at our heads during spring, and don’t get me started on the sharks and crocodiles and those mighty big bites.

I am most scared of the snakes. Australia has twenty of the top twenty-five most venomous species of snakes in the world. We have a hundred and forty species of land snakes and thirty-two …

The Bright Side of Having Little Money: 9 Reasons to Stay Upbeat

“If you want to feel rich, just count the things you have that money can’t buy.” ~Proverb

Ever been in a bad money situation?

Life might have been cushy before, but all of a sudden you find yourself having to carefully watch your spending. You start worrying about how to make ends meet.

You’re unable to afford the luxuries you’ve grown accustomed to—the ones you used to take for granted, like a Starbucks coffee or a meal at a restaurant.

I found myself in such a situation not too long ago.

I used to have a well-paid corporate job that …

50 Mindful Steps to Self-Esteem (Interview & Book Giveaway)

Update: The winners for this giveaway have been chosen. They are: Julie C. Perry and GoBubbles1.

Growing up, we learn innumerable things about how the world works and how we’re supposed to fit within it, but not all of us learn to recognize our own worth.

In fact, many of us learn the exact opposite—that we’re not worthy, not good enough, fundamentally lacking, inferior to others, and maybe even a disappointment to those who expected so much from us.

Perhaps more troubling, we may not even realize we believe these things. And if we do develop that awareness, we …

31 Ways to Appreciate The Present Moment and Feel Happier Right Now

Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can. ~Arthur Ashe

It’s frustrating, isn’t it?

You dream of a life where you have more freedom—your work nourishes your mind and soul, your home is organized, and you have ample time to exercise and eat right.

It’s not that your current situation is awful, but you long to do more of the things you love. Yet when you contemplate radical changes, your heart rate quickens, and you convince yourself it’s just not the right time.

So you keep waiting for the big moment when you can …

How To Stop Being A Slave To Your Emotions

“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” ~ Oscar Wilde

Would you describe yourself as emotional?

Do you feel like your mood can change instantly according to what happens in your day?

Then you may be a slave to your emotions.

Being an emotional person and leading with the heart can both be great qualities. Leaning into our feelings allows us to be more self-aware and helps connect us to others. But if we allow our emotions to dictate how we live our lives, …

You Are Not A Fraud and You Deserve the Praise You Receive

“If you are what you should be you will set the whole world ablaze.” ~St. Catherine of Siena

My usual morning routine consists of arriving at work, making a cup of tea, reading a daily inspirational quote, and then getting started with the days’ assignments.

Every thirty minutes or so, my brain snaps away from the task at hand into a deep craving for advice. It’s the reason I read a daily quote and the reason I get my daily Tiny Buddha articles. It’s what I spend the majority of my free time exploring.

So, every thirty minutes or …

Let Go of Your Unhelpful Story: Accept, Surrender, and Move On

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.” ~Eckhart Tolle

I recently discovered just how powerful our thoughts can be. I learned that it doesn’t take time for us to accept our current situation; it simply takes a shift in our perceptions and a change in the stories we tell ourselves.

The catalyst for this realization was sent to me, in a small envelope placed under the windscreen wipers of my car. Yes, it came in the form of a parking ticket.

At first I was shocked and quite disappointed in myself for getting …

Don’t Let Your Bruised Ego Keep You Down When You Fall

“If you get up one more time than you fall, you will make it through.” ~Chinese Proverb

My niece is three years old. I get to video chat with her daily. During our interactions, she loves to show me, with tremendous happiness and pride, her new toys, her new dresses, and the various sounds her scooter is capable of making.

One day, a few months ago, as she was enthusiastically getting her scooter near the screen, she tripped and fell, albeit with no serious consequences. What I learned from this event has been gratifying.

After she fell, she sat there …

How to Stop Trying to Fit In and Finally Belong

“Perhaps home is not a place, but simply an irrevocable condition.” ~James Baldwin

It’s normal, isn’t it?

Wanting to be accepted. Longing to feel at home. Hoping for that reassuring up-nod from the universe that says, “You’re one of us. And you get to stay.”

So you try to fit in wherever it feels right. You get the job everyone approves of. You marry the person you’re supposed to. You say yes most of the time. And you’re as good as you’re supposed to be.

You’ve jumped through every hoop and worn all the right masks, but it seems that

How to Stay Calm in Frustrating Situations (Even if You Have Zero Patience)

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” ~Buddha

Uh-oh, you did it again.

You fell into the same trap as last week.

Perhaps someone was driving in front of you going 20 in a 55 mph zone, or maybe you received terrible customer service and couldn’t get your refund.

So you snapped and lost your temper.

Whatever the reason for your explosive reaction, you haven’t yet found a way to keep control and remain calm.

Becoming impatient and losing your temper

When You Feel Pressured and Overwhelmed by Possibilities

“Ego says, ‘Once everything falls into place, I’ll feel peace.’ Spirit says, ‘Find your peace, and then everything will fall into place.’” ~Marianne Williamson

I have exhausted myself with my own expectations. The pressure I have put on myself to be a certain person is consuming my thoughts and eating away at my soul.

I imagine a point in my life when I’ll have it all together, and I feel a sting in my chest that this has not happened yet.

I think about the milestones that might get me there and the things that have led me astray. I …

5 Love Lessons to Help Your Relationship Thrive

“Some people come into your life as blessings. Others come into your life as lessons.” ~Mother Teresa

Going by experience, I should have been petrified of men and marriage.

Forced into an arranged marriage at twenty, something that is common in India, it took me over a decade to draw up the courage to leave a toxic, abusive situation and to chart my own path in a conservative society, with two little kids to fend for.

But due to an inner conviction in the workings of a larger universe, I somehow made it through with my sense of wonder (and …

You Were (and Are) More Beautiful Than You Think

“Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.” ~Kahlil Gibran

Does a loved one have a favorite photo of you? A photo by their bedside or on their screensaver that reminds them of a special time and place and memory?

Can I also hazard a guess that this isn’t your favorite photo of yourself? I bet you look at yourself critically and dislike how your face looks, or maybe your body is not cast in its most flattering light. I was reminded of this recently, and it made me think of how I view photos …

How to Heal Your Relationship with Your Body in 5 Words

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

There I was, reading yet another diet book.

It was the spring of 2013. I was routinely doing intense workouts in my living room at 5AM. Then I would go teach group fitness classes later in the day. By that point, I had tried all kinds of diets. In fact, I had lost count.

As I sat there in front of the latest book, looking for someone to finally give me the answer, the words began to …

Imagine Living a Life You Don’t Need to Escape From

“Instead of wondering when our next vacation is we should set up a life we don’t need to escape from.” ~Seth Godin

I was a senior human resources professional at the biggest company in New Zealand. I had a great team of people, a flash company car, and got to stay at the posh hotels and dine at the nicest restaurants.

I was paid more than I thought I’d ever earn, I had a house overlooking the beach, and got to vacation at some fantastic destinations. My life had all the hallmarks of success from the outside, but inside there …

10 Mistakes To Avoid When Chasing Your Dream

“We dream to give ourselves hope. To stop dreaming—well, that’s like saying you can never change your fate.” ~Amy Tan

Pursuing dreams…

How you wish it were a smooth ride. Right?

The twists and curves you’ve encountered may have left you full of negative thoughts and doubting your ability to succeed.

In fact, you may be accepting your situation as fate and settling for defeat.

But don’t give up yet!

To keep your dreams alive, you must avoid making certain mistakes. You must realize that you’re the pilot, and you can take charge of your dreams and fly to places …

How To Wake Up Feeling Confident, Relaxed, And Productive

“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.” ~Glen Cook

Beep! Beep! Beep!

Time’s up.

You’ve got twenty minutes to shower, get dressed, eat, and get to work.

Screw it—skip the shower today. And you can wait till lunch to eat.

Go! Go! Go!

We all know the feeling. These mornings suck.

From the moment you wake up you’re in a constant rush to get ready for work and out the door on time.

By the time you arrive you’re stuck in a frenzied state of mind, never able to settle …