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Why We Lie to Ourselves and How It Creates Tension

“That I feed the hungry, forgive an insult, and love my enemy…. these are great virtues.
But what if I should discover that the poorest of the beggars and the most impudent of offenders are all within me, and that I stand in need of the alms of my own kindness; that I myself am the enemy who must be loved? What then?” ~Carl Jung

Mornings are delicious in the desert. In a summer climate that pushes above 100 degrees day after day, you learn to appreciate lingering cool gifts of pre-dawn hours.

I’m typically awake by 5am these days. …

It’s Not Over: Failure Is Success in the Making

“A man’s errors are his portals of discovery.” ~James Joyce

Everyone has a story of failure and disadvantage—those things we wish were done differently, better, or not at all. Take these stories for instance:

A speaker intending to be unifying and encouraging onstage leaves the audience disappointed and bored instead.

A lone manuscript is rejected by publishing houses over twenty-seven times, dismissed as too fanciful, fake, and “never gonna sell.”

A poor eleven-year-old boy, deprived of toys his entire childhood, trudges through sleet and snow on his newspaper route in order to help support his family.

An author struggles to …

Free Yourself from Regret and Transform Your Life

“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.” ~Marianne Williamson

I always had a hard time accepting all of me. As early as I can remember others defined me by saying “You are so weird.” Not in a malicious way but more in a “you don’t fit into our familiar box” sort of way.

I spent most of my teens and twenties attempting to conform to others or numbing myself to a point of not caring what they thought. If someone would have told me that forgiveness and compassion would lead me to …

There’s a Gift in Every Problem: Finding the Good in the Bad

“Every problem has a gift for you in its hands.” ~Richard Bach

I bought the magazine because it had pizza on the cover and the headline read: “Yes, you can eat pizza.”

At that point, the idea that I could eat pizza was as absurd to me as the thought of finding a tiny dinosaur living in my flowerbeds.

But oh, how I wanted a slice.

At thirty-two years old, I’d been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. It scared the hell out of me, and I was determined to take perfect care of myself so I could be the best

When You Fear Things Might Not Work Out: 3 Helpful Tips

“Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you have to believe.” ~Mark Victor Hansen

This summer, after three years of dreaming, my daughter and I moved from the city I’ve lived in all my life to my dream city six hours north.

The season of summer is known as a time when plants fruit, grow, and bloom. In order to harvest new crops we have to have a clear field and clean soil to plant in, right?

Before we can grow new things, we need to look hard at what isn’t working for us, …

7 Ways to Cope With the Grief of Heartbreak

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~C.S. Lewis

Shock. That was the first feeling. Shock and disbelief.

This isn’t really happening. Denial.

Look into her eyes. Slow realization. I’m not dreaming. Fear.

Wave upon wave of torrential sadness. Messy.

We’d been in a long-distance relationship, and as far as I was aware, everything was inutterably perfect. I was as happy as I’d ever been; I was in love.

For months, I’d been planning to travel across the country to see her. …

Why You Deserve to Applaud Yourself

“I have done my best. That is all the philosophy of living one needs” ~Lin-yutang

Take a break and take a look in the mirror. Look at yourself and smile while you congratulate yourself for everything you have been through, good or bad, ups and downs.

It doesn’t matter whether you climbed Mount Everest, learned French in Paris, completed medical school, worked at the local grocery store, or “simply” lay on the sofa for far longer than you had planned in order to figure out your life’s purpose and goals.

The main point is that everything that you have been

Give Back to Others by Giving to Yourself First

“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.” ~Dalai Lama

I looked out my window and saw only sand. I was on a Beechcraft 1900 turboprop flying into Baghdad in the fall of 2003.

The U.S. had invaded six months prior and was occupying the country. From day one, I loathed the idea of invading a sovereign country, so as my plane spiral landed to avoid surface-to-air missiles, I said to myself, “Why am I here?”

From the youngest age, I wanted to give back—stop war, end poverty, ease suffering.

Upon graduating from …

Win a Free Copy of Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself

UPDATE: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. 

The winners:

  • Antwanette Miller
  • Rebecca

This may seem like Déjà vu, because I published an almost identical post last Friday. It’s now a new week (soon to be weekend) and a new chance to win a copy of Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself!

For those of you who already bought a copy, I hope you’re enjoying it!

And I have a special request for you: Since it’s brand new, there are currently only four reviews on Amazon. (Thank you so much to those of you who responded to …

4 Massive Motivation Killers and How to Overcome Them

“Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.” ~Robert H. Schuller

For the entirety of my life I have had an external source of structure.

I’ve very much thrived when both guided and held accountable by others. You could say that I’m a “systems” friendly person and have always felt safe and secure when I can simply follow the guidelines or instructions and then arrive at the intended destination.

The only problem is that I didn’t always create the “intended” destination. In fact, it usually wasn’t even where I wanted to be. It was where I thought I …

15 Reasons to Start Following Your Dream Today

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” ~Unknown

Do you have a dream? A wish? A desire?

Do you ever wake up and wonder: What would it be like to love life?

People can tell you “follow your dream,” but is anyone really doing it?

Not someone in a TV show or movie—a real, living, breathing human, just like you?

Is it possible?

The Depression

Three years ago I couldn’t sleep. Night after night, I’d lie awake at 2am. My heart would pound in my chest.

The anxiety overtook me. I welcomed it. …

Why Accepting Your Imperfections Is a Gift to the World

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” ~Anna Quindlen

Being yourself seems like it would be an easy thing, right? Just be! But when you’re someone who has lived their life seeking the approval of others constantly, it’s not such an easy thing.

You have to attempt to move past years of trying to appear this way, wondering if people will judge you if do that, or doing your best not to cause waves and avoid conflict.

When you don’t fully understand who your “self”

When Following Your Passion Makes You Miserable

“The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now.” ~Robert G. Ingersoll

It seems that in recent years people have really started waking up to the fact that they can do what they love, which is great. But what’s not so great is when it makes you miserable.

Finding your passion can become another goal to be achieved in the future.

Suddenly you find yourself believing that if you could just find that perfect passion, your life would be perfect and then you’d finally be happy. But life doesn’t work that way.

You already …

Why Letting Yourself Feel Broken is the Key to Feeling Whole

“Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant.” ~Paul Coelho

I spent my twenty-fifth birthday crying alone at the foot of a mountain. While I had always found solace in spending time by myself, in that moment, I did not recognize my “self.”  Without my self, I had nothing.

I was utterly alone.

Three weeks earlier, a man was shot just feet away from my front door. My then-boyfriend and I performed CPR until an ambulance arrived, but the man had been killed on impact. The police left my home at 3 a.m.;

A Simple Technique to Solve Problems Before They Get Bigger

“As he thinks, so he is; as he continues to think, so he remains.” ~James Allen

It was a beautiful day as we drove down the Desert Road two days after Christmas. The Desert Road is a stretch of highway in the North Island of New Zealand.

On one side of the highway, three magnificent volcanoes provide the only break to the bleak, stark landscape. Otherwise, the ground is covered in dry grasses, rocks, and a straight highway to the horizon.

During the drive, my husband and I were discussing the New Year and what would be the next adventure.…

Are You in Love with the Idea of Being in Love?

“When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ~Viktor Frankl

“But no. We can give it another chance; I know we can. We just have to try harder…” were my desperate words to him as he was breaking up with me for the second time.

As I am reading those words out loud, I feel a little sting in my heart. It’s been a while since I revisited this experience and for some reason, it feels bittersweet.

It’s been about nine months since he told me that he didn’t see a future for us, …

10 Ways to Start Living and Loving Life Now

“I never want to arrive. I love the ride.” ~Coco J. Ginger

This is what life should be, a wonderful journey of living and loving each moment.

I was born in India to a loving, caring family. My mother and my grandparents gave me the world. They kept me hidden from the truths of life and, therefore, life was sweet, as I felt like the most loved child in the world. Now after 38 years of existing (not living) I reflect on where everything went wrong. Why have I felt so lost, broken, and regretful?

I came from a successful …

Why We Struggle to Find Ourselves and How to Do It

“On a deeper level you are already complete. When you realize that, there is a playful, joyous energy behind what you do.” ~Eckhart Tolle

For a long time I’ve had a bit of an obsession with coming home. Not my physical home, but Home with a capital H. Being with myself. Knowing who I was. Leaning back into me and having that “ah” feeling of being totally whole, and totally at peace.

I felt like there was something missing, and that I needed to find that missing piece to complete the puzzle.

I thought that if I found the right …

Embracing Change and Living with Passion: Awaken your Phoenix Spirit

“All the wonders you seek are within yourself.” ~Sir Thomas Browne

As history claims, the phoenix began as a common bird that’s nest caught on fire by the hand of a god-like figure. As the fire started to consume the bird, instead of suffering, she decided to dance in the flames.

Eventually, the fire reduced the bird to ashes. However, this was not the end of that wise bird, for she knew her ending was only the beginning—the beginning of something greater than what she ever thought possible, a resurrection.

The seemingly done-for bird emerged, more powerful and more

Book Giveaway: Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself

UPDATE: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. They are:

  • Sunny Kharbanda
  • UnicaPoet

It’s been 10 days since the launch of Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself, and I’m excited to share that the book has been a bestseller in Amazon’s self-esteem category since then.

For those of you who already bought a copy, I hope you’re enjoying it!

And I have a special request for you: Since it’s brand new, there’s currently only one review on Amazon. Those reviews go a long way in influencing people who may benefit from the book.

If you’ve found the