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How to Confront Someone When You’re Afraid of Conflict

“Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the presence of creative alternatives for responding to conflict.” ~Dorothy Thompson

I used to think that in order to live a completely peaceful existence, there could never be any conflict in my life, so I would do anything possible to avoid it.

That included selling myself short, never sticking up for myself, and effectively compromising my value. That didn’t seem like the road to peace.

The odd time I did say something, it still felt like a losing situation because I never felt I actually gained anything.

Conflict scared me. It made

6 Ways Gratitude Can Improve Your Life and Make You Happier

“I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness—it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.” ~Brené Brown

For the longest time I sought after happiness in the wrong place, and I wasn’t always leading with my heart to obtain joy.

I used to picture myself living in a big house, with nice things to furnish and fill the fantasy home I dreamed of.

I didn’t obtain this large dream home, and I’ve learned that it’s not important, nor is it what I want. I’ve been fortunate to live in a moderate home …

What You Need to Know When You’re Considering a Big, Scary Change

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” ~Nelson Mandela

Ten months ago I found myself floating on my back in an outdoor pool somewhere in California. Overhead was a clear blue sky, leaves dancing in the breeze, and birds singing their morning song.

I felt more alive in that moment than I had in years. And so I made a promise to myself, right there and then, not to forget this feeling. I made a promise that I’d follow it. I made a promise that this feeling wouldn’t just be a three-month trip to a new country, but …

How To Take Your Life Back From People Who Ask for Too Much

“It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority.” ~Mandy Hale

It sucks, doesn’t it?

People who ask too much of you?

People who steal your time and drain your energy.

Who just keep on attacking your natural defenses, abusing your loyalty and exploiting your love.

You want to stop giving, to say no! But frustratingly, when you try to pull away, they say or imply that you’re the selfish one.

And in some cases it’s unwanted or impractical to distance yourself from that person, especially if they’re a family …

How to Feel Better When You’re Down (Without Forcing Yourself to Be Positive)

“Forget the failures. Keep the lessons.” ~Dalai Lama

The year had finally come. I’d officially entered the “adult” world after celebrating my thirtieth birthday.

I’d enjoyed being in my twenties. It was an incredible time for self-growth and healing after growing up in an unstable environment with a narcissistic, alcoholic father, and also a time of living life fully, having fun, and going on adventures.

I felt pretty happy…until I hit thirty.

I began examining my life not so positively anymore.

Health problems had become more frequent and scary, my career path was ominous, I had not settled into …

How Meditation Can Make You Healthier and Ease Your Pain

“If a person’s basic state of mind is serene and calm, then it is possible for this inner peace to overwhelm a painful physical experience.” ~The Dalai Lama

When I finished graduate school I was a bright-eyed engineer with a fresh diploma in hand, ready to take on the world. I landed a great job at a multinational engineering firm and began my career working with people from all over the world.

So it was a major downer when, not long into my new job, I began to suffer from chronic migraines. Every day I would wake up feeling fine, …

If Self-Love Seems Difficult, Start with Self-Like

“It’s not your job to like me. It’s mine.” ~Byron Katie

Self-love is a word that gets used a lot. Overused, in fact.

The pressures and associations around the phrase “self-love” are immense. At school, we actually tore apart girls who loved themselves, as if it was such a bad thing. As teenagers, we saw self-love as big headed and arrogant.

If only we knew the harm that we were doing, not just to others but most of all to ourselves.

So how about we begin with self-like?

I definitely felt that I had to try to get people …

How High Expectations Can Lead to Disappointment, Depression, and Anxiety

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” ~Alexander Pope

I was sitting on the couch in my bedroom, at sunset, looking at the trees outside my window. I felt a profound sadness, frustration, disappointment, and desperation taking me over.

While I was staring into oblivion, all my expectations came flashing to my mind.

“No, this is not what my life was supposed to be. I was supposed to be successful. I was supposed to have my own house. I was supposed to be happy. What happened?”

What happened was that I am part of the …

Why The Old Adage “Enjoy Every Moment” May Be More Harmful Than Helpful

“In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.” ~Francis Bacon

One phrase my husband and I have heard often since becoming new parents—heck, since I was still waddling my way through my last trimester—is, “It goes so fast.” This is most often delivered by another more seasoned mother with an all-knowing shake of her head and a longing gaze at my once rotund belly, or now at our beautiful boy.

We smile and nod, silently agreeing to the harsh reality of time. Which inevitably leads to the dreaded follow up, “Enjoy every moment!” …

Why We Can’t Have Healthy, Happy Relationships Without Self-Love

“Worry about loving yourself instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.” ~Unknown

Body image and self-love have been my biggest struggles. They’ve affected every area of my life, including relationships.

I developed anorexia in high school after experiencing a number of losses in a short period of time.

During my high school years I didn’t date much. I had a few boyfriends, but the relationships never progressed because I was afraid of intimacy, due to the fact that I was uncomfortable in my skin and didn’t like my body.

I had body dysmorphia, thinking I was overweight …

True Connection Happens When We Release Cynicism and Judgment

“Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t.” ~Bill Nye

It’s cool to be a little cynical, right? We’ve all seen the movies; we know an air of ennui and a well-cultivated sneer is all a person needs to get by.

When I was in my early twenties I used to archly describe myself as an “optimistic cynic.” To me, it sounded cool. I was playing in bands, and I’d decided this was how I wanted to show up to the world.

Back then I responded to everything, whether good or bad, exciting or not, through a filter of …

3 Ways to Tell If You’re in an Unhealthy Relationship

“The harder you fight to hold onto specific assumptions, the more likely there’s gold in letting them go.” ~John Seely Brown

It was Christmas night and I was ecstatic. He would be there any minute.

I touched up my gloss and gave myself a quick once over in the hallway mirror. Despite having had a hearty dinner at my Mum’s, my stomach was flat and my dress fit me like a glove, enveloping my curves perfectly. I was ready and raring to go.

Glancing at the clock, I wondered where he was. I double checked my phone to see if …

What Not to Say to Someone Who’s Going Through a Breakup or Divorce

“Good friends help you to find important things when you have lost them…your smile, your hope and your courage.” ~Doe Zantamata 

Divorce or the end of a long-term relationship is one of hardest, if the not the hardest, trial you might be faced with in life. Unfortunately, unless you’ve experienced it firsthand, it’s very hard to believe this statement.

For most of my fifteen-year relationship, I didn’t believe it. Sure, I commiserated with friends who were suffering through breakups, but I did so with a superiority complex, a judgment about how they got themselves into that situation through relationship neglect.…

Why Self-Help Shouldn’t Be About Trying to “Fix” Yourself

“Stop trying to ‘fix’ yourself; you’re not broken! You are perfectly imperfect and powerful beyond measure.” ~Steve Maraboli

The other day I had some time to kill before a meeting, so I decided to go to one of my favorite places, Chapters Bookstore. When I walked in, I immediately headed toward the self-help section to pick up Brene Brown’s Rising Strong (great read, by the way).

As I was searching for her book, I noticed an unusual number of people browsing the same shelves, searching for their self-help book of choice.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with this. The …

How I Stopped Feeling Hopeless and Healed from Depression

“Abandon the idea that you will forever be the victim of the things that have happened to you. Choose to be the victor.” ~Seth Adam Smith

I come from a history of abuse and mental illness on both sides of my family. I felt the effects of both growing up. By my twenties, I was a mess.

I suffered from wild mood swings and severe depression, either lashing out or completely numb and disinterested. I was using alcohol to numb myself from reality, and it was only a matter of time before I’d end up in jail or dead.

I …

Create Peace, Presence, and Happiness: Yoga eCourse by Seane Corn

Have you ever ended a long day by stretching your arms up, almost in slow motion, while taking a deep breath through a wide-open mouth? I do this all the time, and it never fails to invigorate me.

It’s relaxing, calming, and incredibly grounding. Nothing pulls you into the present moment and helps you let go of the past like fully embodying your body.

Yoga’s a lot like this—except you get to enjoy this sensation over a longer period of time, and reap even more physical and emotional benefits.

In addition to helping you build muscle strength, yoga prevents digestive …

Why I’m Broke, Single, and Happier Than Ever (and How You Can Be Happier Too)

“You must make your dream a priority in order for it to become your life.” ~Bob Proctor.

I am sitting in the courtyard of the little place I’ve just moved into, an old washhouse separate from a beautiful big Victorian house, by the coast in Cornwall.

The washhouse is no bigger than a shed; it consists of a living space and a wet room.

I sleep on a day bed, which doubles as my sofa. My neat, compact kitchen is approximately two steps from my bed/sofa, and the wet room houses a shower, toilet, and sink.

I’m thirty-two, and I …

4 Steps to Let Go of Stress, Negativity, and Emotional Pain

“It’s not the bite of the snake that kills you, it’s the poison left behind.” ~Tom Callos

Have you ever taken it to heart when someone said or did something mean to you? The likely answer is yes; most people have experienced negativity from another person—and it hurts.

But why did you take it personally? Because, like all of us, you want love. And we often assume when someone is mean to us that it means that we are unlovable.

Now, when a person is mean to me, I choose not to accept what they are offering. Also, I recognize …

Why We Put Ourselves Last and Why Self-Care Should Be a Priority

“Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind.” ~Dodinsky

Sometimes, when we’re feeling stressed and running around taking care of everybody else, the healthiest thing we can do is to stop and consider how we can take care of ourselves.

While this seems obvious to some people, many of us struggle with the idea of putting ourselves first. We were raised to think we should always put others before ourselves and ignore our own needs—that it is somehow arrogant or self-centered, and not a nice thing to do.

So why is self-care not held in high regard as the …

Why We Should Stop Trying to “Fix” Other People’s Pain

“There is such a deeply rooted belief that we must do something with intense surges of feeling and emotion as they wash through: understand them, determine their cause, link them to some life circumstance or person, transform them, transmute them, or even ‘heal’ them.” ~Matt Licata

A few years ago, when I first started working for my current organization, one of my colleagues asked me what role I would most enjoy on the team.

I quickly said, “I like making things happen.”

That was so clear to meI’m a natural do-er, organizer, and planner. It’s easy for me …