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How to Become More Assertive to Seize Opportunities

By in Blog, change & challenges

“In the long run we get no more than we have been willing to risk giving.” ~Sheldon Kopp

It was a foggy day in the city. We decided to go to the Science Academy in San Francisco—me and the most beautiful girl I’ve ever known.

We entered the aquarium. There was a blissful haze surrounding the room. There was a swirl of people going around. Yet, everything went into slow-motion. It was like there was an imaginary spotlight on her, and I gave her my full attention.

I was mesmerized by her voice, eyes, and everything about her, really. Then …

5 Steps to Reinvent Yourself: Create the Future You Visualize

By in Blog, change & challenges

“You’re never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.” ~C. S. Lewis

Change means reinvention. Each time a major shift happens in our lives—leaving a job or a relationship, moving, losing a loved one—we have to choose who we want to become or risk never reaching our full potential.

I’ve reinvented myself several times in my life. Most adults have.

But what I always forget is that we have to choose reinvention. Each time I’ve done it, I’ve forged my new path deliberately and with foresight.

When I’ve waited for my future to find me, I’ve …

Stretching Yourself and Creating Smiles

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” ~Neale Walsh

Have you ever thought about doing something way out there—and then done it?

I became intrigued with Patch Adams and his philosophy of medicine and healing after seeing the movie about him, starring Robin Williams.

This came on the heels of my daughter Nava’s miraculous survival and full recovery from a medical crisis that involved a year-long hospitalization. As her mother, I felt a renewed sense of life. Or, as I like to refer to it: I truly felt I had received a second lease on life.

I was …

8 Ways to Make Meditation Easy and Fun

By in Blog, healthy habits, mindfulness & peace

“The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.” ~Robert M. Pirsig

I know meditation is good for me. I know it can do wonders for my mind, body, and spirit. I deeply desire having a daily meditation practice. Yet I can go months without meditating. I’ll think randomly, “I should really meditate sometime,” but when it comes down to it, I don’t.

My thing is this: I know meditating is good for me, and yet I don’t do it. I suspect I’m not the only one who feels this way.

I’ve …

How to Create a Balanced Life: 9 Ways to Feel Calm and Grounded

By in Blog, healthy habits, mindfulness & peace

“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.” ~Thomas Merton

As a Libra, my sign is the scale, which signifies balance. I’m not sure how much my “signage” plays into my desire to live a balanced life, but I do know that the more balanced I feel, the more free I feel.

In my work I am often reminded that what works for some people does not necessarily work for others, and that one person’s idea of balance may not constitute anything remotely balanced from another person’s perspective.

So I wanted to address the …

4 Ways to Embrace Imperfections

By in Blog, letting go

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ~Oscar Wilde”

I have the amazing privilege and overwhelming responsibility of raising three daughters. I’m deliberate in the personal choices I make, knowing I set an example of what a strong, independent woman of integrity looks like.

I don’t always succeed.

As hard as I try to parent gently and with smart guidance, I’m imperfect and sometimes I get it wrong.

All relationships go hand in hand with feelings of regret and disappointment, and a sense we haven’t given our best at some point. Here are a few ways I have learned to …

5 Expressions for Mindful Living

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.” ~Buddha

It’s sometimes difficult to give the principles we wish to uphold practical expression in our lives. That’s because we don’t know what they truly look like in the real world.

A good way to overcome this obstacle is to incorporate mindful expressions into your daily vocabulary. This will help you become aware of your principles and apply them to everyday challenges.

I find the following five expressions extremely valuable in adding more meaning and mindfulness into my life, and I hope they will have a similar effect …

How to Discover Your Super Powers to Find Meaningful Work

By in Blog, work fulfillment

“Happiness comes when your work and words are of benefit to yourself and others.” ~Buddha

It seems like the vast majority of people compartmentalize themselves.

There are the people they show to family and friends, built upon authenticity and genuine passions, and the people who wear work-appropriate masks to make a living from day to day.

I understand how this happens. It’s not easy to identify the work that would feel meaningful for you, discover how you can get on that path, and then consistently take action to create the life you visualize.

Recognizing what you want to do can …

25 Ways to Be a True Friend

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Don’t wait for people to be friendly. Show them how.” ~Unknown

The other night I called an old friend I hadn’t talked to in a while. As we caught up, shared stories, and laughed over private jokes that would sound ridiculous had the phone been tapped, I wondered why I let so much time go by since I’d last given her a call.

We don’t live close to each other, so grabbing a drink or hitting up a yoga class isn’t an option. But really connecting with her, sharing pieces of my life  and receiving the pieces she wants to …

Being Present When Life Falls Apart

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.” ~Pema Chodron 

Don’t run away from your fear, Pema says. Lean into it. This is her message.

It’s not the most popular or good feeling practice. Our natural tendency is to fight, flee, …

Learning to Receive: 5 Steps to Opening Up

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“We must never forget that it is through our actions, words, and thoughts that we have a choice.” ~Sogyal Rinpoche

I grew up deep in the “Bible Belt” in Texas, and along with that came the teaching that certain beliefs were never to be questioned. This kept life simple and reduced choices, but it also left me with the baggage of dogmas I no longer accept.

One of the mainstay beliefs was “It is better to give than to receive.”

Somehow, this one has held on in my head, in my heart, deep in my innermost belief system. Never mind …

Transforming Negative Thoughts & Creating the Life You Desire

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.” ~Lao Tzu

In my quest for personal development, I’ve done a ton of processing, meditating, reading, praying, exercising, eating well, and helping other people. All of these things are amazing, and I still do them regularly, but none of it matters if I don’t guard my thoughts as though my life depends on it.

The quality of my life literally depends on my thoughts.

I never thought of myself as a negative person, and most people who know me will tell you I’m a bubbly, outgoing, …

The Right Direction: Releasing the Past and Getting Unstuck

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” ~Proverb

It’s been a year since I stumbled upon Tiny Buddha. At the time I was in a difficult place, emotionally, mentally, and physically.

I felt as if life was pointless and that there was nothing for me in the world: no room, no hope, no opportunity, no relief from the chronic tiredness and pain, and no love. I’d given up.

I spent my days staring at the walls and at my computer, trying to find something to make me feel better, to …

How to Stop Playing the Blame Game

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Whenever something negative happens to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it.” ~Eckhart Tolle

The most common conversation I have with other people includes the blame game.

The one where your job, your wife, your dog, your mother-in-law, your neighbor six doors down, the media, the government, the receptionist at your doctor’s office, or the dressmaker who measured you wrong is somehow responsible for the problems you’re having.

I too played the blame game.

I intentionally left a marriage that I was very unhappy in and then blamed him for everything. My finances, my unhappiness, my fluctuating weight, …

Growing Pains: When Becoming Something New Feels Scary

By in Blog, change & challenges

“The moment in between what you once were, and who you are now becoming, is where the dance of life really takes place.” ~Barbara De Angelis

When we were kids, my dad used to measure us as we grew taller. On the back of the door of the laundry chute, he would keep track of me and my two sisters.

Every six months or so, he’d take out the ruler and lay it right on the top of our heads and mark the door. When we’d step away, we’d notice that we grew a few inches since the last time. …

4 Tips to Create Meaningful, Authentic Connections Online

By in Blog, love & relationships, meaning & passion

“The most important things in life are the connections you make with others.” ~Tom Ford

Three years ago I was living in the Bay Area, working for a start-up website as a community and content and manager. Every day, I signed online and wrote for hours about a topic that meant absolutely nothing to me.

I accepted the position because it was a dramatic pay increase from my previous temp and freelance lifestyle, and it afforded me my first solo apartment. I’d held dozens of different jobs in my time as I searched for meaningful work, and I certainly …

Blind with Full Sight: On Living in the Moment

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” ~Robert Brault

As a fairly recent grad student at the time, it was painful when I had to pay for things that were out of my control.

While in Tahoe one weekend, I found my parked car without a right side view mirror. Someone had knocked it off! It was an important mirror—the one that assisted you with seeing a reasonable amount of blind spots.

I knew it would be extra difficult for me to switch lanes and park my car without …

We Are Never Alone in the Storm

By in Blog, change & challenges

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

Like so many others living in Florida, my family was deeply affected by hurricane Charlie in August of 2004.  We have completely recovered financially some years later, but the gravity of the situation leaves feelings close to the surface.

Our particular community was heavily hit by what were called spin-off tornadoes. Most people in Orlando did not believe the storm was coming our way.  We had little notice that the storm path had changed from the forecaster’s prediction.

A friend from Jacksonville called and said, …

When to Go with the Flow & When to Expand Your Comfort Zone

By in Blog, change & challenges, work fulfillment

“Be bold, be bold, and everywhere be bold.” ~Herbert Spencer

I’m actually much more of a proponent of “going with the flow” then going against it. And sometimes forcing yourself to do something you don’t want to do can be considered going against the flow.

But I do that for a different reason, and not everyone would agree.

I have two schools of thought. On the one hand, expansion is inevitable. We’re always called to become more than we are in life. It’s the nature of being human.

On the other hand, there’s something called “homeostasis.” Like a thermostat that’s …

In Pursuit of Peace: Why It’s Hard to Find Serenity

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.” ~Robert Pirsig

The other evening I was I was lying in the bath following yet another hectic day in the office. As I sat there in the bubbles, I could feel my tension rising. I tried my hardest to block out the banging of the washing machine in the next room and the great stomping footsteps from the flat above.

All of a sudden, this peaceful treat was starting to feel more like a battle of wills—me against the world.

This made me …