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How Being in a Toxic Relationship Changed My Life for the Better

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars.  You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~C.S. Lewis

My ex and I split up about five years ago. We had been married for seventeen years, and after that long, I figured we were home free, as far as lasting marriages go. Needless to say, when it happened, I was devastated. Over all those years of being a couple, I had lost a big part of myself. Without that relationship, who was I anymore?

I was terrified of being alone, which led …

Maybe This Forced Pause Is Actually Good for the Planet

By in Blog, change & challenges

EDITOR’S NOTE: You can find a number of helpful coronavirus resources and all related Tiny Buddha articles here.

“The earth is what we all have in common.” ~Wendell Berry

 I love the warmth and brightness of sunny days, but I’ve always enjoyed the stillness that comes around as the rain starts to fall, as well.

Creatures retreat to the warmth and dryness of shelters and home spaces. Outdoor work and routines are rethought, sometimes placed on pause. The world, at least as far as the rain clouds stretch, quiets.

In some ways, these current moments in our world feel …

How Conflict in Relationships Can Be a Catalyst for Growth

By in Blog, love & relationships

“The mind is the place the soul goes to hide from the heart.” ~Michael Singer

“You think you’re so much better than me!!”

As this phrase—laced with contempt—exited my mouth, I recognized the familiar words. I had grown up hearing this phrase often. The “rich people,” the girl who won the competition, the inconsiderate neighbors, the rude supervisor… “They think they’re so much better than us.”

So, I diligently spent my childhood trying to prove them all wrong.

I wore myself out trying to be the smartest, the best, the prettiest… you name it. I wasn’t going to let all …

The Power of Social (Media) Distancing

By in Blog, letting go, love & relationships

“Less social media, more everything else.” ~Unknown

It’s been a long time since I’ve engaged personally on social media. A while back I made the conscious choice to stop scrolling online and start focusing my time IRL. I was shocked when I did the math. Scrolling for just twenty minutes a day adds up to fifty days over ten years.

As a busy mom of six, my time is precious, and I don’t want to spend my minutes, hours, days, and years getting sucked into the social media vortex.

I admit, however, that social distancing has me wanting to reach …

14-Day Meditation Challenge: Put Down Your Phone and Be

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

EDITOR’S NOTE: You can find a number of helpful coronavirus resources and all related Tiny Buddha articles here.

“Meditation is the ultimate mobile device; you can use it anywhere, anytime, unobtrusively.” ~Sharon Salzberg

I came home from my doctor’s appointment last week and rambled off three to four different things that were happening in the world as a result of the coronavirus. By the fourth item my wife asked me to stop. She said please tell me something good.

I told her that my doctor said my pathology report came back negative. That the procedure on my neck had …

If You Think You Have to Be a People-Pleaser to Be Kind

By in Blog

“I don’t need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.” ~Plutarch

People-pleasing can seem Iike a way of connecting with others. We believe that if we keep people happy, then they’ll like us and want us around. While it may be true that pleasing others will win us approval and a place in their lives, changing and editing ourselves can’t create the connection we long for.

We confuse people-pleasing with kindness. After all, aren’t we, as people-pleasers, described as too nice? People-pleasing can be seen as giving of …

Stressed and Anxious? Here’s How to Stay Emotionally Healthy

By in Blog, change & challenges, healthy habits, mindfulness & peace

EDITOR’S NOTE: You can find a number of helpful coronavirus resources and all related Tiny Buddha articles here.

“Health is not just about what you’re eating. It’s also about what you’re thinking and saying.”

A virus is spreading across the globe. Schools are shut down. People are out of work. Grocery stores are empty.

Weddings, graduations, vacations, a day in court—canceled.

This is the ultimate test in emotional resilience.

Uncertainty is one of the main reasons we stress, along with a lack of control, and right now we’ve got it in truckloads. I’ve spent the last decade building my …

Trauma Can Make Us Sick: How I Found a Key to Healing

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Our bodies contain our histories—every chapter, line, and verse of every event and relationship in our lives.” ~Caroline Myss

I could hear my teacher talking, but I wasn’t listening. Staring at the math homework in front of me, I couldn’t get the sound of my heartbeat out of my head.

Two times two equals, thump thump, equals thump thump, four.

The more I focused on my heartbeat, the louder it became. I could even feel beating in my chest.

Noticing the clock, I had ten more minutes before my mom would meet me in the school office. We …

3 Approaches to the Coronavirus (and Which Is Smartest)

By in Blog, change & challenges

EDITOR’S NOTE: You can find a number of helpful coronavirus resources and all related Tiny Buddha articles here.

“Don’t try to calm the storm. Calm yourself. The storm will pass.” ~Buddha

As we all now know, the coronavirus (COVID-19) has been spreading globally. It is a serious threat, less because of the raw numbers involved (as of March 22, 2020, there are less than 340,000 known infected cases with a global population of over 7 billion people), but more because the trajectory is dangerous, the spread is exponential, and the growth occurs very quickly.

The virus contained would not …

Free Online Summit to Cultivate Mindfulness and Compassion

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

Hi friends! As you may know, I’m always excited to share free events that can help us heal, find peace, and learn to meet each other with more patience, kindness, and compassion.

And I’m particularly passionate about mindfulness. The more present-moment awareness foster, the better we’re able to cope with our own sometimes-overwhelming emotions and the chaos in the world around us.

For this reason, I’m thrilled to invite you to upcoming online summit In the Footsteps of Thich Nhat Hanh.

Thich Nhat Hanh has touched the hearts of millions with his message of peace, non-violence, and kindness. From …

How I Overcame My Relationship Anxiety and Doubts

By in Blog, love & relationships

“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in my life is to risk nothing.” ~Leo Buscaglia

It was the day after my boyfriend proposed and I felt sick with anxiety. I couldn’t understand this feeling. I loved my boyfriend; we were living together, and I didn’t want to break up with him, so why was I so anxious?

I googled furiously in search of answers. I worried this was a sign that the relationship …

How to Take Good Care of Yourself During the Coronavirus Pandemic

By in Blog, healthy habits

EDITOR’S NOTE: You can find a number of helpful coronavirus resources and all related Tiny Buddha articles here.

“Self-care is how you take your power back.” ~Lalah Delia

For more than a week now, I’ve been immersed in how to handle the pandemic that is unfolding all around us. By now, one thing is clear to me. We are either our greatest allies or our own worst enemies at such times. How we react makes all the difference.

One friend brought home a three-inch tome all about pandemics, determined to read her way through it. Another began advising everyone …

How I Overcame My Anger to Be Better for My Family

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

“Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.” ~Eckhart Tolle

As a special-needs parent, it feels that I am in constant anger and fight mode.

I am fighting with my children on the home front.

I am fighting for their right to get access to services.

I am fighting for their acceptance.

I am fighting for my children to help them make progress.

To be in constant fight mode can be overwhelming and exhausting.

In my weakness, I let my emotions get the best of me.

I lose my temper with my loved ones.

The One Thing I Regret

…

Deep Down You Know When It’s Time to Let Go

By in Blog, letting go

“Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.” ~Daphne Rose Kingma

One of the most challenging things in life is knowing when to let go—when to let go of a job, a relationship, a belief, a repeating thought, a situation… fill in the blank.

Most of us have defaulted to safety, which often means procrastinating and generally feeling stuck. While there’s nothing wrong with safety—it is, after all, one of our basic needs—we must learn to discern what is truly safe and what is safe for the sake of comfort …

How to Stay Mindful and Safe Amid the Coronavirus Outbreak

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

EDITOR’S NOTE: You can find a number of helpful coronavirus resources and all related Tiny Buddha articles here.

“We cannot always control everything that happens to us in this life, but we can control how we respond.” ~Lionel Kendrick

The coronavirus is no longer isolated to just China. It’s here, affecting over ninety countries, and it continues to spread worldwide with new cases popping up daily. It’s all over the news and there is an inescapable sense of anxiety, stress, and uncertainty.

Just within the last week, there were over fifty confirmed cases in the Bay Area, where …

Why My “Self-Care” Did More Harm Than Good

By in Blog, healthy habits

“Self-care is how you take your power back.” ~Lalah Delia

Self-care is not a bubble bath.

I mean, it might be, if you’re the kind of person who feels like they’re committing a mortal sin by allowing themselves to wade in hot water with a candle or a book for twenty minutes alone. If that’s you, then yes. Please allow yourself a bubble bath. Regularly!

Same with a massage. Or scheduling time for exercise. Or buying yourself some new underwear. Or taking a nap.

If the idea of doing these things makes you feel squirmy and selfish and, Nooooo, …

I Used to Be Hungry All the Time

By in Blog, healthy habits

I mean, hungry allll the time. Basically, if I was awake, I was ready to eat.

I’d mindlessly pick at whatever was available.

I’d wander the kitchen feeling “snacky” all the time.

I’d be completely consumed with thoughts of what I was going to eat next from the minute I woke up til the minute I went to bed. And behind all the desires to eat were always the arguments—what I wanted to eat versus what I thought I was “supposed” to eat.

No matter how much I had just eaten, I could literally always still eat. I lived in …

I Want to Be Rich in Memories

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“My life isn’t perfect, but it does have perfect moments.” ~Unknown

Practice was over, the hot Florida sun was settling in behind the tall bleachers, casting golden rays onto the track. Behind me was my dear school, engulfed in beautiful palm trees. “California Girls” was playing through the speakers, and I was laughing with friends at something a teammate said. There, I realized how truly alive I felt in that moment. It was seemingly picture perfect in every way.

A couple years ago I could only imagine being on this team, going to such a great school, and living in …

How to Know If Hidden Low Self-Esteem Is Holding You Back in Life

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Forgive yourself for not knowing better at the time. Forgive yourself for giving away your power. Forgive yourself for past behaviors. Forgive yourself for the survival patterns and traits you picked up while enduring trauma. Forgive yourself for being who you needed to be.” ~Audrey Kitching

You can try it all—exercise, a bubble bath, a relationship, a promotion, and everything else that you think will make you happy. I have come to learn those things will not give you the kind of happiness you desire until they coincide with you knowing your worth.

At my unhappiest times, my eyes were …

Why You Should Love Your Imperfect Self

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.” ~Lucille Ball

If you were to ask me ten years ago what self-love meant, I would’ve probably said something general like “being happy.” But self-love goes way deeper than that; it involves accepting the past versions of yourself and your present challenges, while giving yourself credit for how far you’ve come.

While we may have an idea of the “perfect person” we want to be, sometimes we are so hard on ourselves that we forget to appreciate who we are right now. The notion that we won’t be the …