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9 Confidence Myths That Only Quiet People Will Truly Understand

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“Quiet is the new loud.” ~Patrick Stump

 Isn’t it ironic?

When you need it the most, your confidence is nowhere to be found.

When you’re freaking out at the thought of meeting new people, speaking up or going for that job interview, you’re only ally has gone AWOL.

And even though you’ve tried all the standard advice on how to be more confident, more self-assured, if you’re anything like I used to be, it’s left you even more anxious. Even less sure of yourself.

And all your efforts to be more confident have got you worrying that there’s actually …

How to Rise Above Negative Comments About Your Body & What You Eat

By in Blog, healthy habits, love & relationships

“It’s also helpful to realize that this very body that we have, that’s sitting right here right now … with its aches and its pleasures … is exactly what we need to be fully human, fully awake, fully alive.” ~Pema Chodron

I took a photograph with my mom last night. She sighed when she saw the photo, saying she looked “so big.” My heart sank.

A few weeks ago, I was picking up sushi from the local supermarket with her, and she looked down at the to-go pack I was picking up and asked, “You’re really going to eat that? …

5 Things You Need to Tell Yourself After a Painful Breakup

By in Blog, love & relationships

Have you ever experienced a breakup or divorce but still loved the other person you were saying goodbye to?

I met my ex-girlfriend on a rooftop in Istanbul. I had just sold everything I owned to travel the world, and she was a tour leader in Asia.

She was everything I had been searching for: beautiful, confident, and funny. I followed her to India and China. She followed me to Australia. When the money and visas ran out, we moved back to Canada, found an apartment, got a cat, and shared a strong, healthy relationship for over five years.

And …

You Don’t Have to Go It Alone: How Asking for Help Brings Us Closer

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Asking for help does not mean that we are weak or incompetent. It usually indicates an advanced level of honesty and intelligence.” ~Anne Wilson Schaef

For most of my life, I’ve exhibited contradicting behaviors.

On one hand, I believe wholeheartedly in collaboration, and have always been quick to help others out. I do it at work and in my personal life. Helping a stranger parallel park, listening to a friend as they go through a hard time, these are common occurrences for me. Once I even helped a blind man walk over a mile to the nearest church…IN …

5 Easy, Natural Ways to Reduce Stress

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“It’s all about finding the calm in the chaos.” ~Donna Karan

Like my grandfather, I have always been a weather geek. I check the weather news daily and, for as long as I can remember, thunderstorms, warm/cold fronts, and clouds have fascinated me.

Close friends of mine will be the first to tell you that I have the bad habit of stopping someone mid-sentence to point out cirrus clouds, or a storm on the horizon.

But it’s more than just a nerdy interest. Looking at thunderstorms and clouds has always had a calming effect on me.

A few years ago …

Life Is a Cycle of Happiness, Sadness, Clarity, and Confusion

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Life is a cycle, always in motion. If good times have moved on, so will times of trouble.” ~Indian Proverb

Two years ago I went on a volunteer trip to Vietnam, where I had hoped to find both myself and my purpose (ambitious), but instead found a rocky adventure that continues to teach me things to this day.

I was in the middle of a difficult time that was secretly a rebirth. It’s always hard to see that when it’s happening, isn’t it?

For a few amazing months, everything made crystal clear sense, and I felt like I could …

Healing After an Affair: How to Get Through the Pain of Infidelity

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“I will breathe. I will think of solutions, I will not let my worry control me. I will not let my stress level break me. I will simply breathe. And it will be okay. Because I don’t quit.” ~Shayne McClendon

It was a Wednesday afternoon in late July, and I felt like my entire world was coming to an end. My husband of almost eleven years had become distant, and during a phone call on my lunch break he told me he couldn’t do this anymore. That evening he told me he no longer loved me and wanted a divorce…

How We Avoid Our Feelings and How Embracing Them Sets Us Free

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“We numb our minds and heart so one need not be broken and the other need not be bothered.” ~Peggy Haymes

Feelings are important, no doubt about it. They communicate all sorts of information to us. I don’t know about you, but I’ve preferred to ignore some of that information. Raise your hand if you would much rather feel the good feelings and just jump right over the not so good ones.

Okay, so it’s unanimous. We all prefer the good, happy feelings. I expect we are all experts at finding ways to avoid the uncomfortable ones. But …

Healing from Depression: It Begins With Asking for Help

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“I speak of a clinical depression that is the background of your entire life, a background of anguish and anxiety, a sense that nothing goes well, that pleasure is unavailable and all your strategies collapse.” ~Leonard Cohen

Right before my eighteenth birthday, when I was about to go to university, I was hit by a car and sustained multiple fractures to my right leg. This led to a couple of operations and the best part of ten months with me unable to walk.

While all of my school friends and peers were having the time of their lives in …

One Simple Word That Can Change Your Life (And No, It’s Not “Thanks”)

By in Blog, change & challenges

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” ~Epictetus

About nine years back I was at the lowest point of my life.

We had been trying to start a family for close to four years by that point.

The forty-plus consecutive months of “not pregnant” verdict were starting to take their toll on me. That second line on the pregnancy test strip seemed like it would never appear. Life felt like it was a never-ending cycle of false hope that was always crushed in the end.

I wouldn’t wish that kind of despair on …

3 Ways We Unconsciously Sabotage Our Relationships (And How to Stop)

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source.” ~Anaïs Nin

As a long-time commitment-phobe, my love life has been somewhat inconsistent, to say the least, but this year it seemed I’d finally met someone I was ready and able to think about building a future with. Still, along with this feeling of hope came some challenges that I had never experienced before in a relationship. (And yes, it did occur to me that maybe these two things went together!)

I knew I loved my partner, but we often seemed to argue …

A Small Good Thing: A Documentary on Simple Sources of Happiness

By in Blog, happiness & fun

We live in a world that encourages the pursuit of happiness, which it seems we’ve collectively defined as “more.” We chase more money, more recognition, more stuff, more connections (and often, more followers and “likes”). If it’s quantifiable, and sometimes even when it isn’t, there’s no such thing as enough.

Given that you’re here, visiting a website that promotes simplicity and appreciation for the little things, it’s possible you haven’t fallen into this trap. Or perhaps, like me, you have, and that’s why you now recognize that less is often more.

Given my own experience chasing things that inevitably led …

How We Can Stop Judging Others and Ourselves

By in Blog, love & relationships

“There is no path to peace. Peace is the path.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

We live in a world of ticker headlines, 24/7 news, and constantly updating Instagram and Facebook feeds. We are constantly making snap-decision judgment calls, categorizing what we see into “good,” “bad,” or “unimportant.”

In a second, we can see an image and believe we have all we need to form a fully realized opinion.

It’s in our biological wiring to judge everything we see—it’s how we have survived for generations upon generations. We are in a constant state of scanning our environment for threats and attempting to efficiently …

How to Rock Your Scars (Because They Mean You’re Strong)

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you.” ~Unknown

“It’s such an ugly scar, I really don’t want anyone to see it.” This is what I told my daughter about a scar on my leg from an accident I’d experienced a year earlier.

I can remember the day so clearly when I slipped and fell, while skating, breaking my ankle and tearing a ligament. It was a painful experience with a long recovery. But I also felt embarrassed because I got injured during such a simple and fun activity.

I …

A Daily Self-Care Ritual for Anyone Who Feels Lost in Life

By in Blog, healthy habits

“When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.” ~Jean Shinoda Bolen

We all get lost sometimes.

So lost that we lose track of who we are, where we’re going, what we want, and how to give ourselves what we need to feel nourished and healthy.

I’ve been there many times, enough times to realize that it’s an inevitable part of life, to realize that it’s okay to get lost.

The triggers? They’re never predictable.

Some are subtle and prolonged; some are brief but …

How Letting Go of Your Goals Can Make You a Happier Person

By in Blog, letting go

“No valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now.” ~Alan Watts

When I started kicking chairs at work, I knew things had gone too far.

I didn’t kick things when other people were around, and I thought it was the perfect way to release my anger. I could lash out with as much fury as I wanted, but I didn’t hurt anyone.

Why did I start kicking chairs? I’ll explain in a minute. But the truth was, I was hiding a bigger problem: I’ve spent much of my life …

7 Lessons to Remember When Life Seems to Suck

By in Blog, change & challenges

“I’m grateful for past betrayals, heartaches, and challenges… I thought they were breaking me; but they were sculpting me.” ~Steve Maraboli

I winced in pain as I climbed off the elliptical. This was one of the few times that I had ever set foot into a gym. And it was out of necessity rather than choice.

That necessity came from chronic lower back and leg pain, which I had been living with for the better part of six months. At the time, I didn’t know it would end up being just chronic, idiopathic pain.

All I knew was that it …

Dealing with Rejection: It Doesn’t Mean That You’re Not Good Enough

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“The best way out is always through” ~Robert Frost

I was trembling as I hung up the phone. He’d dumped me.

It was as if, while I was watching a murder mystery at the edge of my seat, the electricity had gone out. Poof! I wasn’t going to get to see the end of the movie, and I had no control over when the lights would come back on.

I felt the fangs of rejection sink into my heart like a merciless tarantula. My mind, which is normally going 500 miles an hour, came to a halt. Suddenly I felt …

Does Your Partner Often Get Angry and Shut Down Emotionally?

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” ~Carl Jung

Three years ago I was on top of the world after realizing I had fallen in love with my best friend. Relationships this rare are beautiful, until one vital piece of them breaks down: clear communication.

Although I didn’t know it at the time, when my ex and I came together as a couple, rather than being in love, we were both just mirroring each other’s deep unconscious pain; his mother had walked out on him at a young age, and …

Coping with Suicide Loss: 9 Lessons for Hope and Healing

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go, love & relationships

“It takes courage to endure the sharp pains of self-discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.” ~Marianne Williamson

“That boy is one in a million, Jill. He’s one in a million.”

These were my grandfather’s words to my mum about my brother, Mitch, when he was just a kid. He really was one in a million—a light that shone so bright as a child and early teen, only to then fade into shadows of desperation and defeat as he grew into adulthood.

No one really knows what’s going …