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Category “mindfulness & peace”

The Truth About Social Anxiety and 5 Ways to Relieve It

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“Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us, when in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from being seen and taking flight.” ~Brené Brown

About fifteen million adults suffer from social anxiety according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. Fifteen million. And we’re not just talking about what you’d call shyness. We’re talking about big fears of judgment and scrutinization from others.

When we hear statistics it can be difficult to remember the humanness of those numbers. These are people who want to find love, who want to make …

4 Tips for Managing Stress from a Combat Veteran

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“Buddha was asked, ‘What have you gained from meditation?’ He replied, ‘Nothing.’ ‘However,’ Buddha said, ‘let me tell you what I lost: anger, anxiety, depression, insecurity, fear of old age, and death.’”

“I never get stressed.”

I used to say and think this all the time when I saw someone freaking out about an upcoming test, a bad grade, relationship problems, or a boss or coworker.

I had a false sense of being “carefree” because I wouldn’t get stressed over the trivial things that most people did.

I was a “battle hardened” soldier recently back from a deployment in Afghanistan. …

How to Stop Being a Victim of Your Own High Expectations

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“The outward freedom that we shall attain will only be in exact proportion to the inward freedom to which we may have grown at a given moment. And if this is a correct view of freedom, our chief energy must be concentrated on achieving reform from within.” ~Gandhi

If someone asked you to recall the last time you were kind to yourself, would you struggle to bring up that memory?

At one point in time, I couldn’t remember ever being kind to myself.

I grew up with a lot of expectations from a demanding mother and other caretakers. Their expectations …

How to Make Peace with the Past and Stop Being a Victim

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“Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.” ~Harvey Fienstein

Do you usually feel as if everything bad that can happen will happen, and it will happen to you?

You must be the unluckiest person on the face of the planet. Opportunities never work out. Doors that should open close in your face. Friends let you down. Bosses don’t see your value. There seems to be a universal conspiracy to keep you stuck right where you are now.

You feel like your life is always going to be like this.…

How to Get the Excitement of a Fresh Start Every Day

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“Since we cannot change reality, let us change the eyes which see reality.” ~Nikos Kazantzakis

One minute I was a young warrior in a guild of travelers, the next, a middle-aged aristocrat in a strange Victorian world.

A pretty standard day. Oh, did I forget to mention where I was?

I was at a role-playing convention. That was over twenty years ago. Here’s how the fun worked.

Every three to four hours, I would play a different session. That means I would become a new character and go on new adventures in another world, with different people. It was …

Why Advice Doesn’t Help When We’re Hurting (and What Does)

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“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we’re listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.” ~Karl A. Menninger

I remember my first call like it was yesterday.

I answered the phone, heart beating out of my chest, hand firm on a sheet of local emergency phone numbers.

The voice on the other end was full of… meek embarrassment.

Not exactly what I was expecting.

“Uhh, I’m really sorry… I’m not, uhh… I’m not suicidal…. I just… I just had a …

The Introvert’s Brain: Why They Might “Think Too Much”

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“Only those who care about you can hear when you are quiet.” ~Unknown

I find it difficult to be understood. I seem to frequently create complexity out of something that is perhaps very simple and straightforward to others.

For example, going to a movie. For many people, it would be “choose a movie, choose a time, choose a cinema” and there you go.

For me, I check movie reviews, all possible timings, in all possible cinemas. For each timing and location, I will consider if the timing allows other things to be done before and after the movie, and whether …

The Zen of Coloring: 7 Lessons on Living a Happy, Mindful Life

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“The hand can never execute anything higher than the heart can imagine.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I’ve been into mindfulness for a long time but having never been much of an artist, the mindfulness coloring craze had bypassed me until recently.

I brought a book and some colored pencils to keep me amused during a recent train trip but enjoyed it so much I’ve continued the habit—and to my surprise, the work I’ve done looks quite good!

I’d heard that mindful coloring is good for reducing stress levels and being more present, but I found even more benefits. For example, …

Buddha Doodles Review and Book Giveaway – Whimsical Drawings with Deep Truths

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Note: The winners for this giveaway have been chosen.

When I first found Molly Hahn’s Buddha Doodles a few years back, I knew I’d stumbled upon something special.

Her whimsical illustrations never failed to put a smile on my face, and they often came with just the message I needed to read on a given day.

I was even more enthralled when I learned about Molly’s background, and why she started Buddha Doodles.

Having endured a traumatic childhood, she began her meditative sketch practice as part of her healing process. And I, …

Sensitivity Is a Gift: How to Thrive with a Bleeding Heart

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“You are not a mess. You are a feeling person in a messy world.” ~Glennon Doyle Melton

I can recall crying myself to sleep at night when I was a little girl. Not a loud bawl, more of a soft weep.

My mom would tuck me in goodnight and as soon as she turned the lights on her way out, I would be left with a feeling of fear and sadness. Not because I was afraid of the dark, but because I was afraid of my dark.

The thoughts that entered my mind that kept me from falling into a …

What Anxiety Can Do to Your Body & How to Calm Your Mind

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“Our bodies communicate to us clearly and specifically, if we are willing to listen.” ~Shakti Gawain

I woke up screaming—not just any scream, but a blood-curdling sound that could have woken the dead.

My throat was searing with pain, and my pajamas were stuck to me from being so damp. After a minute or two, my heartbeat slowed and I lay back down, still shaking. It wasn’t a nightmare; I couldn’t even remember what I had dreamt.

This behavior sounds weird, but it was not an infrequent episode in our house. The week prior I’d woken up in the bathtub.…

You Don’t Need to Fix the Past in Order to Have a New Future

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Note: The winners for this giveaway have been chosen! They are:

  • Dianna
  • Michael Maher
  • Kathleen B
  • Yusuf Stoptagginmeanyhow Sulei
  • Aparna

“The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment.” ~Pema Chodron

My family recently drove from Michigan to North Carolina—twenty hours roundtrip. To entertain themselves, my five-year-old daughter Willow taught my three-year-old son Miller to play rock-paper-scissors in the backseat.

Miller learned the hand signals and got the overall concept pretty quickly, but he had a hard time with the fast speed of the game. Willow narrated, “Rock-paper-scissors…go! Okay, next round!” But Miller wanted to linger.…

5 Ways to Feel Better in Your Body

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“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” ~Maya Angelou

We’re bombarded by advertisements that tell us if we’re thin, we’ll love ourselves. If we suddenly look a certain way, all our worries will vanish.

I’ve always been thin without really having to work at it—well, in my younger days at least.

Yes, I was skinny, but that didn’t mean I was happy. I was suffering from depression, had terrible skin, and just felt awful in my body.

Being a “perfect” size is not what will make you happy, because …

10 Powerful Practices to Take Good Care of Yourself

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“You don’t pass or fail at being a person, dear.” ~Neil Gaiman

I discovered my spiritual path early. As a teenager I would read my mother’s self-help books. I spent most of my twenties actively pursuing self-development by studying, attending workshops, and going on retreats all over the world.

At the time, I thought I was searching for happiness and inner peace. I see now that I bought into a rigid idea of what a ‘spiritual person’ was and tried to live up to that.

My inner world was not happy or peaceful. The way I treated myself was far …

A Relaxing Yoga Practice for People with High Stress and Low Energy

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“We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise we harden.” ~Goethe

Nine years ago after I had my twins, I was eager to get back into a routine of a weekly yoga class and daily home practice. However, I didn’t account for the soul-sapping fatigue I felt as a new sleep-deprived mum!

I simply did not have the energy or ability to leave the house for a satisfying active class. And truly, I did not want to venture far from my precious babes.

That’s when I discovered a soothing style of yoga that met me exactly where I was. I …

Why It’s Okay to “Fail” at Meditation 90% of the Time

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“Giving up is the only sure way to fail.” ~Gena Showalter

So you want to meditate.

You can’t help but notice the benefits touted everywhere: clearer mind, more focus, better sleep, better health and happiness. What’s not to want?

But then you try it out. And dang, it’s not easy.

When you sit down on that cushion or chair, your previously normal human brain has turned into a crazy swirl of thoughts.

Did you have this many thoughts before? Isn’t this meditation thing supposed to be about clearing your mind and getting focused?

The next thought that comes to …

Why Stress Is Good for You and How to Respond to It

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“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ~Viktor Frankl

These days we can’t seem to get away from stress. We all feel it, and we all hate it. Even my sister’s two dogs are on a special diet for their stress-induced digestive issues, and I’m pretty sure they hate stress too.

Recently it hit me: Our relationship with stress is dysfunctional. No wonder we’re stuck in an anxiety-ridden existence!

Stress is Love

Stress has gotten a bad rep, but it …

How Using Your Hands Creatively Can Reduce Stress and Anxiety

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“Making something, even imperfectly is empowering because it’s an expression of the self.” ~Alton & Carrie Barron MD

Do you ever suffer from stress or anxiety?

If so, you’ve probably tried to find relief, but finding something that works for you can be quite hard. We all react differently to different remedies, and what works for one person may not be the best remedy for you.

I used to suffer from stress and anxiety a lot. After trying lots of different remedies, I finally found relief in an activity I never considered would help.

I was locked into a life …

5 Everyday Places Where You Can Find Presence

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“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Presence. It’s something that used to be an absolute mystery to me.

During my five years working in the fast-paced world of public relations, I was frequently running from one meeting to the next, nose in my cell phone, barely coming up for air and completely oblivious to the world around me.

Little did I know, I was missing out on so many moments during my day where I could feel grounded, grateful, and present instead of stressed out and anxious.

Today, life is much different. I …

Giveaway: Let It Go Coloring Book for Stress Relief

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Update: The winners for this giveaway are:

  • Lyndsay G
  • Beth Casey
  • Marsha Lawrence
  • Claudia Menger
  • Teejayhanton

You can get a copy of Let It Go, Coloring and Activities to Awaken Your Mind and Relieve Stress on Amazon here.

When I was a kid, I could color for hours. I could be a little Type-A about it; if I went outside the lines, I would often rip out the page and throw it away, and I may even have yelled, “I hate coloring!” while cursing my imperfection.

But that was a lie—I loved it. So it was only a matter …