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Dealing with Verbal Attacks: 6 Ways to Take the Sting Out of an Insult

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“Pain can change you, but that doesn’t mean it has to be a bad change. Take that pain and turn it into wisdom.” ~Unknown

Sometimes other people’s words can stir up very painful emotions in us.

Do you remember when you felt so disempowered by someone’s remarks that you froze on the spot and couldn’t think of anything to say back to them?

Or maybe you did say something, but it was so lame that you wished afterward you’d kept your mouth shut and just sucked it all up.

This happened to me recently when I was helping someone and, …

5 Lessons from a Dog on Overcoming Life’s Hardest Challenges

By in Blog, change & challenges

“A challenge only becomes an obstacle when you bow to it.” ~Ray Davis

I remember very clearly the first moment I saw our dog, Carmichael, or Carmy, as we called her for short.

One tiny pup in a litter of eight Golden Retrievers, it was love at first sight, and I knew she was “the one.” As the years progressed, she became my best friend, confidante, and companion. We were inseparable.

Opening the front door when returning from school, she would be there waiting, wagging her tail, with the biggest grin on her face.

She would patiently wait for me …

You Can’t Make Someone Love or Commit to You

By in Blog, love & relationships

“It hurts to let go, but sometimes it hurts more to hold on.” ~Unknown

When we’re deep into something it’s hard to see clearly and to hear advice from others. It’s hard to focus on a solution when we are consumed with the problem.

It’s the difference between playing and watching a game of chess. It’s so much easier to see checkmate when you’re not the one playing the game.

That’s what happened to me for the last five years.

I spent every breathing moment consumed with a man, unable to listen to those who watched me struggle. I spent …

How to Find Real, Lasting Love Without Looking for It

By in Blog, love & relationships

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” ~Carl Jung

Often when people want a new relationship, they either look for someone to complete them or they imagine sharing their life with someone just like them. So they try to present themselves in the best possible light for their imagined future partner—either as one perfect half of a whole or as an ideal version of what they believe their future partner will want.

In my experience, finding your soul mate requires a different, far more soul-enriching approach. Here are six steps that worked for me:

1.

…

Enjoy the Little Things: How to Find the Sacred in Everyday Life

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” ~Robert Brault

One of the things I love about the Native American spiritual path is the focus on appreciating the simple things in life.

Simple things are often hard to relate to in today’s world of overwhelm.

Eric Schmidt, executive chairman of Google, says we human beings currently create as much information in two days as we did from the dawn of civilization up through 2003!

And yet our bodies were, and still are, designed to be in tune with the sun, …

Stop Beating Yourself Up: 40 Ways to Silence Your Inner Critic

By in Blog, change & challenges

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

If you’re anything like I used to be, your inner critic packs a powerful punch.

You’ve got a vicious voice bad mouthing you for much of the day. And when it’s in one of those moods, wow, are you going to suffer.

It’s no wonder you feel small, disappointed, and ashamed of who you are.

It’s the reason you lie in bed at night feeling like a failure, convinced you’re a nobody, certain you’re a serial mistake …

6 Things to Keep in Mind When You’re Trying to Make New Friends

By in Blog, love & relationships

“No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.” ~Alice Walker

When I was young, I never actively wanted friends, probably because I didn’t know the benefits of having strong friendships. I got along fine in my social circle in high school, in part because I could translate Latin more quickly than my classmates, which was helpful to some of them, and because I was pleasant enough.

I wasn’t going to get on anyone’s nerves, at least not on purpose. In fact, I was so careful not to be a bother to anyone …

Awakening to Life and Love After a Devastating Loss

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go, love & relationships

“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” ~Ernest Hemingway  

For years I cursed spring.

During that time my heart woke to the bitterness of life. In the harsh frost of winter my anguish and the season were one, a climate where I felt safe, cocooned in a blanket of grief, a camouflage that ensconced me from the world outside.

Like grief, winter brings the bitter cold to our life, and those withered months drenched in sorrow tasted natural.

In the time I lingered frozen in my shroud of despair, spring had arrived, with feathered …

9 Ways to Release Your Limiting Beliefs So You Can Find Love Again

By in Blog, love & relationships

“The less you open your heart to others, the more your heart suffers.” ~Deepak Chopra

The end of my marriage was a life-shattering event that rocked my world and made me question my existence.

My breakup led to a full existential, spiritual, and personal crisis.

After putting the pieces back together, I feel like I’m ready to love again.

It took me a long time to feel open to another relationship because I was stuck in the past, replaying the story of my former relationship over and over again in my mind.

I also held a set of disempowering and …

How to Overcome Unhealthy Cravings When You’re Feeling Down

By in Blog, healthy habits, letting go

“Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts.” ~Buddha

As a kid, I was taught that the Devil tempted us to do evil deeds. When I had the urge to do something naughty, I imagined a pitchfork-totin’ demon whispering into my ear. He’d encourage me to steal that Hershey’s bar from the 7-11, or to lie to my mom when she asked if I’d finished my homework.

Today, I don’t believe in the existence of the Devil, but I do believe my doubts and fears can appear to be downright devilish—if I give in to …

3 Things You Need to Stop Telling Yourself If You Want to Lose Weight

By in Blog, healthy habits

“Stop hating yourself for everything you aren’t. Start loving yourself for everything that you are.” ~Unknown

Picture it: You’re out with friends having dinner, then one of them says, “I shouldn’t be eating this. I skipped the gym today.”

Another one replies, “I’m so bad. I’ve been eating out of control all week. I just can’t stop.”

And another one says, “I’m going to have to eat salad for the next couple days to make up for this.”

Does this type of conversation sound familiar to you?

It’s all too familiar to me. I used to be the leader in …

Let Yourself Receive: You Don’t Have to Put Yourself Last

By in Blog, healthy habits, love & relationships

“Once you get used to people giving to you as much as you give to them and receive all of the benefits of a less stressful life, you will not consider putting yourself last.” ~Amanda Owen

Recently a good friend of mine helped me with a workshop project. She formulated spreadsheets, answered multiple emails and questions, provided feedback to my group, and then participated in the actual event by doing a demonstration.

“I’m not going to cash your check,” she told me the following week, after receiving my offering for the work she did. “I just want to give this …

9 Ways to Help Yourself When You’re Going Through a Hard Time

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.” ~Eckhart Tolle

After my father had a stroke, it became too difficult to manage our family’s convenience store, so we decided to sell it. We spoke to several buyers, but a couple was most interested—the same couple who had originally sold us the store years earlier.

In December 2012, in the middle of the transaction, my father was manipulated and our store and retirement savings were snatched away.

They convinced my parents to transfer the …

The Beauty of Being Different

By in Blog, love & relationships

“We must never be afraid to be a sign of contradiction for the world.” ~Mother Teresa

I’ve felt like I was different ever since I was in elementary school, when my personality started to settle and I came to realize I didn’t look, think, feel, learn, or act like my peers.

Back in the eighties and early nineties it seemed that there weren’t many labels to catalog people by, but still I knew I was different, and teachers and classmates made sure I knew it. “Freak” or “weirdo” were two of their favorite names.

In current times there would be …

Stop Trying to Blend In: The Simple Secret to Being Yourself

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Be yourself—not your idea of what you think somebody else’s idea of yourself should be.” ~Henry David Thoreau

How many times have people told you to just be yourself? A million times perhaps.

How many times have you felt able to do this?

Until a few months ago, I thought this was frighteningly hollow advice, like “Don’t worry.” And I had no clue how to be myself. What does it even mean?

The Simple Secret to Being Yourself

My friend continuously tells me that being yourself means doing things you want to do and not caring about what others …

You Don’t Have to Believe You’re Not Good Enough

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“I don’t know a perfect person. I only know flawed people who are still worth loving.” ~John Green

“I’m not good enough.”

I cannot possibly count the number of times this thought has passed through my head over the years. It’s been applicable to nearly every aspect of my life from childhood to my current status as an adult, parent, and business owner.

Still, both the frequency with which this thought enters my head and the length of time I spend believing it have dropped considerably, so I think my story and the lessons I’ve learned are worth sharing—especially since …

Don’t Wait Until the End to Wake Up to Your Life

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever; you just have to live.” ~Natalie Babbitt

My friend died recently.

I saw him just a few hours before he died too. He stopped by my office as he had done numerous times before to say hello. I’d seen him go through various challenges and come out better. His life was great, and the future looked bright. And I was happy for him because he had worked so hard to get to this place.

My friend died that night …

Why We Might Feel Lonely and What to Do About It

By in Blog, love & relationships

“We have all known the long loneliness and we have learned that the only solution is love and that love comes with community.” ~Dorothy Day

Throughout my life it’s been really hard to admit when I’ve felt lonely.

I’ve been through intense periods where I have been without others.

I’ve been surrounded by people yet have felt no real connections.

The people I have loved have been physically or emotionally absent.

I’ve simply been alone over weekends, over weeks, over months, over years, and it has been grueling and horrible.

I found I had to monitor how much I shared …

4 Secrets to Falling in Love Every Day

By in Blog

“It is astonishing how little one feels alone when one loves.” ~John Bulwer

I am very fortunate to have come from a loving family. My family members have a wide range of personalities, and even though they’re all very opinionated, they are not judgmental in the least.

Growing up around these amazing people allowed me to recognize that superficial differences don’t matter much when people share a profound love.

Regardless of whether you’ve experienced this type of bond, you’re probably familiar with the benefits of love.

Love acts as a buffer against stress and helps you avoid being overcome by …

Improve Your Communication: How to Address Big Issues in Your Relationship

By in Blog, Uncategorized

“Communication works for those who work at it.” ~John Powell

I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years now. He’s a great guy. We get along well, we complement each other, and we have a lot of fun when we’re together.

Still, despite our mutual desire for a great relationship, we occasionally run into roadblocks, otherwise known as growth points.

Recently we’ve been going through a bit of a rough patch while revisiting unresolved dramas. What enables us to handle these dramas well is our willingness to show up and communicate.

Through our three years together, I’ve learned a few …