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Why We Don’t Always Get What We Want

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun, letting go

“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~Dalai Lama

It’s probably happened to you. In all likelihood, it has happened multiple times in your life thus far.

You don’t understand why it happens. And when it does, it can throw you into the deepest valleys of despair.

Perhaps you cry out to a higher power to make things better. Maybe you just stare into the cosmos, wondering what the meaning of life is and why things get tough.

I’ve been there. Many times. For all sorts of reasons.

Breakups, career problems, dealing …

6 Thought-Provoking Realizations to Make You Feel Better About Life

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Turn your face toward the sun and the shadows will fall behind you.” ~Māori Proverb

It’s easy to get caught up in our own lives and forget what makes life so beautiful in the first place. Isn’t that true? I know for me, I end up living life through autopilot, lacking a conscious thought until I snap out of it and remind myself that life is great.

When I get like this, it’s nice to remind myself of the realizations I’ve come across over the years and stored in my memory bank.

Every time you forget what you’re living for …

Improve Any Relationship by Challenging Your Perceptions

By in Blog, love & relationships

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche

This morning, I found my wife desperately trying to make her printer work after having set herself one hour to get some good work done. I told her she should use my printer and concentrate on more important things. Surely her printing goal was to get the document in hand, not to spend her one precious hour fighting the machine?

When our argument had died down (yes, it really did get that far!) …

5 Ways to Deal with Emotional Oversensitivity

By in Blog, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

“It isn’t what happens to us that causes us to suffer; it’s what we say to ourselves about what happens.” ~Pema Chodron

I’ve never been much of a sun worshipper. I’m a pale blend of Irish, Scottish, and English, so my skin goes from alabaster to boiled lobster in about twenty minutes.

Once when I was a teenager, someone accidentally smacked me on my sunburned back.  I was in tears. She was genuinely sorry and I said I was all right, but secretly I was angry.

Couldn’t she see how red I was? How slowly I moved? Someone with …

Why We Need Disconnected Alone Time (Without Social Media)

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Do not rely completely on any other human being, however dear. We meet all life’s greatest tests alone.” ~Agnes Macphail 

I have found that the more time I spend alone, the more comfortable I become in my own skin because I can truly get to know myself. This provides me with more patience to accept myself as I am, wherever I am in my journey, on a daily basis.

This lesson was something I learned after spending a summer alone in Italy with a family friend.

I embarked on the journey, turning off my phone for the first time, …

You Don’t Need to Fix Yourself to Be Healed

By in Blog, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“Growth begins when we begin to accept our weaknesses.” -Jean Vanier

I used to believe the word “healed” had a very specific meaning. In my mind, it described a state of perfection that always looked very different from the chronic health challenges I endured.

Being born with VACTERL Association, a birth disorder that causes malformations in six of the body’s systems, meant that I entered the world needing a lot of fixes. There were surgeries, hospitalizations, treatments, and medications aimed at perfecting something inherently imperfect.

The Search

I grew up searching. To be like everyone else. For a cure. For …

Transforming Panic Into Peace: 3 Steps to Relieve Anxiety

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again.” ~Buddha

Growing up, I was one of those people much more concerned about what you thought of me than what I thought of me.

With my focus being on how I was being perceived by those around me, it left me feeling extremely unsettled.

I was desperate to be liked and accepted.

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind” was a nice idea for the fortunate, but certainly not for me.

I was convinced that …

Book Giveaway: Chicken Soup for the Soul 20th Anniversary Edition

By in Blog, love & relationships, meaning & passion, mindfulness & peace

Update: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. The winners:

If you enjoy touching, uplifting stories, you’ve likely stumbled upon the Chicken Soup for the Soul series at one time or another.

What started with one book two decades ago has expanded to more than 200 titles, providing motivation and inspiration to millions of people of all ages, from all over the world.

The newly released 20th anniversary edition includes all of the original stories from the first book and 20 new ones from writers including Deepak Chopra, Dr. Mehmet …

When Things Fall Apart: Breakdowns Can Create Breakthroughs

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun, letting go

“Breakdowns can create breakthroughs. Things fall apart so things can fall together.” ~Unknown

“I’m sorry,” the email said, “but our phone call left me feeling uncomfortable, and we’ve decided to work with someone else.”

I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. Even though I saw it coming. Even though I’d brought it on myself.

It was February 2010, and I didn’t have the money to pay my mortgage. My savings were gone, burned through in a misguided attempt to breathe life back into my ailing business by “throwing money at the problem.”

As a ketubah artist—a maker of …

5 Ways to Thrive When Life Feels Chaotic and Uncertain

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

“All great changes are preceded by chaos.” ~Deepak Chopra

A personal tempest blew through the doors and windows of my life, and I am forever changed. Think major upheaval in every area of your life. Conjure Dorothy Gale, Robinson Crusoe, Job, yeah them.

In the process, I’ve learned that the disorienting storms of life are not just about survival but of learning to thrive. It is not in spite of daunting circumstances that we grow but because of them.

For three years, painful and unexpected events descended all at once. My long-term marriage, often filled with anger, hurt, mistrust, …

Become Open-Minded: The Benefits of Embracing New People and Ideas

By in Blog, letting go, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche

Toward the end of last spring I was feeling a little restless in Los Angeles, so I decided to take some time in the summer to live on a yoga retreat in Hawaii. I was set on recharging and finding comfort in like-minded people who valued slowing down and mindfulness.

Learning was not at the top of my list; I was there to unwind from a tough semester and recharge for the semester …

6 Helpful Things to Consider If You’re In an Unhealthy Friendship

By in Blog, letting go, love & relationships

“Letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

For much of my life, I lived for approval and acceptance from family members, friends, and co-workers. I can’t recall not considering what people thought about my actions or what I had said, wondering if I could have done them better. I was always thinking of others and their feelings toward me.

It was a constant battle in my head, and it was starting to drain me of my peace.

No matter what they had done to me in the past, no matter how …

The Time to Act Is Now: Get Out There and Seize the Moment

By in Blog, happiness & fun, meaning & passion

“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you won’t do anything with it.” ~M. Scott Peck

For most of my life, I thought I had no ambition.

To be fair, I thought it because it was true. Don’t get me wrong. I had ambition to keep living, to shower daily, and to seek out entertainment at the end of my miserable days working in customer service. Still, regardless of how miserable those days were, I wasn’t motivated to change my life path.

I used to wish for ambition, in that vague sense that …

5 Steps to Overcome Fear and Meet Your Goals

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go, meaning & passion

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” ~Nelson Mandela

The world can be a scary place.

As we go through our daily lives, we face many challenges, and often these challenges can bring about fear. We may fear the loss of something, or perhaps the lack of fulfillment. We may experience fear when going on a job interview or a first date.

The greatest challenge with fear is that it can hold us back from achieving our goals, but it doesn’t have to.

Over the past six months I have let one …

How to Get Your Point Across Calmly and Effectively

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Those that know, do. Those that understand, teach.” ~Aristotle

I’ve been mostly introverted for a majority of my life, often running away from issues that could cause a damaging conversation between me and another person.

Experience has taught me that when I get upset, I don’t naturally handle my hardship with grace.

I worked as a restaurant manager for some years, and it was just too easy to react to the frustration I felt when an employee disregarded my request that they stock the bathroom with paper towels or wash the front windows.

I would either explode or I would …

5 Steps to Learn from Anger

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“Don’t wait for your feelings to change to take the action. Take the action and your feelings will change.” ~Barbara Baron

How do you feel about anger? Growing up, I always felt that anger was “bad.” In school and at home I learned that anger made people do “bad” things, and anger was a source of “evil” in the world.

I didn’t want any part of that! So, when things happened that made me angry (for example, getting bullied at school), I’d ignore the feelings of anger until they “went away.” I’d go home and cry, feeling these emotions …

Your Loving Presence Is Enough: Helping Someone Who’s Hurting

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain.” ~Robert Gary Lee

As the only child of a single parent, my family of two was small and our relationship could be intense.

My southern belle mom, with her stories and easy laugh, her quick wit, and her love of all things literary was the mom who all my high school friends adored and loved—the one who my teenage friends could talk to when they were too angry or irritated with their own mother.

I loved her too, but I also worried about her. A lot. Because I knew a secret about her …

Compassionate Posting: Minimizing Social Media Comparisons

By in Blog, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

“We must each lead a way of life with self-awareness and compassion, to do as much as we can. Then, whatever happens we will have no regrets.” ~Dalai Lama

If you’re anything like me, you may have a love-hate relationship with social networking.

There are so many cool facets to social networking sites, such as Facebook, but I am finding that the relative ease of information sharing with the masses and portable nature of technology bring their own set of challenges. Not a bad thing, per-se, but perhaps an invitation to practice even greater mindfulness and compassion.

Consider the title

…

Don’t Wait for a Major Wake Up Call to Start Loving Your Life

By in Blog

“Sometimes in tragedy we find our life’s purpose. The eye sheds a tear to find its focus.” ~Robert Brault

“Lay still. We think both your arms are broken.”

I obeyed the police officer and stopped struggling to rise from the hard, cold pavement.

An ambulance soon had me in emergency, where I discovered that my problem was a lot worse than broken arms.

My right arm had to be amputated. My left arm was paralyzed. I had no more use of my arms.

I laughed my way through my long hospital stay.

No one could understand how a man who …

8 Lessons About Living Fully from a Journey of 500 Miles

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“The journey is the reward.” ~Proverb

I should start by clarifying that even though there’s a lot of walking involved in this story, I’m not a walker, or particularly sporty. So what was I thinking going on a 500-mile pilgrimage you may (rightly) ask? I wasn’t. I was feeling it. In my gut.

You know those butterflies that wreck havoc in your tummy when you have an exciting idea? Well, I had about a thousand of those. Butterflies, not ideas. I only had one idea, and I didn’t even think that one through.

El Camino de Santiago. St James Way. …