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Tiny Wisdom: The Lessons That Hurt

By in Happiness, Knowledge, Pain, Quotes

“Don’t postpone joy until you have learned all of your lessons. Joy is your lesson.” -Alan Cohen

There have been times when I’ve hurt tremendously and then felt a strong need to punish myself for my part in causing that pain. Usually it’s when I’ve made a mistake, and I feel ashamed, like I should have known and done better.

This is kind of ironic when you think about it—clearly I wanted to know and do better to avoid hurting, and yet instead of letting it go, I’ve continued to make myself feel bad.

When I was younger, someone once …

Embracing All of Life Instead of Resisting Pain

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“Don’t seek, don’t search, don’t ask, don’t knock, don’t demand – relax. If you relax, it comes. If you relax, it is there. If you relax, you start vibrating with it.” ~Osho

As far as I can remember, I have always asked myself questions about the nature of my emotional pain. I analyzed and went on long thinking quests to find answers to all of this deliberation. I was convinced that I would find deliverance by coming up with the exact hypothesis, about why I was chosen to have to live with so much trauma and pain in my childhood.…

Prescriptions for Peace: How to Combat Anxiety

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“When the crowded refugee boats met with storms or pirates, if everyone panicked, all would be lost.  But if even one person on the boat remained calm and centered, it was enough. They showed the way for everyone to survive.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Without realizing it, I spent the majority of my childhood in a constant state of anxiety. In my early twenties, after a break-up with a man I dearly loved (albeit a little obsessively) I tried to medicate my grief with too many cups of coffee, bottles of wine, and many cigarettes.

I found myself one absurd sunny …

Giveaway: The Book of Holiday Awesome

By in Blog, Giveaway, happiness & fun

Note: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The Winners:

It’s no secret: I am a hugeNeil Pasricha fan. It’s impossible to visit his site 1000 Awesome Things and not feel good about the world. He has a gift for identifying the small, simple pleasures and treasures that make life beautiful and fill us with joy, if we take the time to notice and appreciate them.

In case you’re not familiar with Neil, a little background info: Neil started …

Tiny Wisdom: Learning to Read What We Need

By in Knowledge, Quotes

“Information is not knowledge.” -Einstein

It’s an interesting time to be a publisher. Before magazines had online counterparts, choosing articles to feature was a much more selective process, as there was no need to solicit more pieces than you could feasibly fit in an issue.

Now that page views are dollars, quality hasn’t necessarily become less important, but publishers are certainly more focused on providing more to readers—more links to click on, more posts to tweet, and more places to get involved in conversations.

Recently, I’ve received a few requests from larger sites asking if I’d like to participate in …

How to Stop Being a Neat Freak & Stressing About Keeping Things Tidy

By in Blog, letting go

“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you; they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” ~ Bernice Johnson Reagon

Have you ever hung up a towel and not straightened it or folded it or arranged it in some way as you did so? Have you ever just casually tossed a towel over the towel rail?

I did that last weekend and it was a big event. I had to laugh at myself for having this obsessive quirk, but doing that was almost impossible. I was in a hurry putting away the laundry, and there were those two clean …

Tiny Wisdom: Taking Things Away

By in Happiness, Quotes, Stress, Success

“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” -Socrates

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from writing, it’s that knowing what to remove is often just as important as knowing what to add.

Surprisingly, it sometimes take just as much time to write something short as it does to write something long because it entails rewriting and editing to capture the most important points with the most specific words.

I’ve found that this same idea applies to other things in life: sometimes creating peace, happiness, or satisfaction has everything to do with what we choose to take away.

You can love …

4 Myths about Doing What You Love for Work

By in Blog, work fulfillment

“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” ~Buddha

“Big flud strikes Revere!”

That was the headline of the newspaper I made with my sister when I was six. I hadn’t yet honed my skills as an editor, but I knew a good fake story when I heard it.

Eight years later, while wading through my anger toward several people who’d hurt me, I wrote a short book called The Line of the Virtues about the grey area between good and bad. An older coworker at my afterschool job asked, “Are …

Tiny Wisdom: What We Choose to See

By in Perspective, Quotes

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” -Henry David Thoreau

Yesterday while driving home from the dentist, I listened to this CD my boyfriend made with theme songs from various movies.

While I generally would rather do a low crawl down a muddy sidewalk than sit in LA traffic, I couldn’t have been more blissful lost in the tunes of my favorite films.

I noticed something interesting during this peaceful drive.

While listening to The Pirates of the Caribbean theme song, I recognized all kinds of exciting things happening around me. This kid did a …

4 Treasures to Leave Behind

By in Blog, meaning & passion

“Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind. To walk safely through the maze of human life, one needs the light of wisdom and the guidance of virtue.” ~Buddha

As children, we were all fascinated by our own treasure hunts. We sought the gold at the end of the rainbow. We dreamed of sailing the seas looking for Treasure Island. We pretended to navigate ancient lands looking for the spot marked “X”.

Growing up in my family, my treasures were little feel-good events that …

Tiny Wisdom: People Who Want Attention

By in Love, Quotes

“You validate people’s lives by your attention.” -Unknown

For as long as I can remember, wanting attention has seemed like a shameful thing.

“She’s only doing that for attention.” “He’s only telling that sob story for attention.” “She only volunteered to help for attention.”

Have you ever said or heard something like this? I know I have. Many times throughout my life, I’ve analyzed people’s words and actions and essentially judged whether or not their intention was to hoist themselves into the spotlight.

Every time I’ve done this, somewhere inside me I’ve thought, “It’s bad to be desperate for attention.” …

10 Ways to Complain Less (and Be Happier)

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

Girl in Hat

“Instead of complaining that the rose bush is full of thorns, be happy the thorn bush has roses.” ~Proverb

We all complain. Even if you argue that you are the happiest person in the world, you still complain sometimes.

Sometimes we complain without even realizing it, but rarely is it helpful. Sure, a common complaint can bond two people who may have nothing in common, but too much complaining would just break down the relationship.

For example, I once had a friend who constantly griped about her health, her family, her relationships, school, and the list goes on. Every …

Tiny Wisdom: The Myth of the After Picture

By in Change, Courage, Possibilities, Quotes

“Life is a process of becoming. A combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” -Anais Nin

It’s a seductive image—the idea of when you “get there.” What you’ll look like when you lose the weight. How your life will change when you achieve success. How everything will improve when you’re finally happy.

I first began chasing “after pictures” when I was a chubby 12 year old kid. I was convinced that slim felt like peace, and I found …

The Tiny Buddha Book, Bonus Gifts, and Win a Kindle or DSLR Camera

By in Blog, happiness & fun, meaning & passion, mindfulness & peace

UPDATE: Please note that the pre-order bonus promotion described in this blog post ended on December 8, 2011.

This is a post that’s been a year and a half in the making, and I couldn’t be more thrilled to finally write these words!

Today is the official pre-order launch day for my first print book, Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions, and I have some exciting promotions to share with you!

In this post you’ll find:

-Information about Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions

-A description of the pre-order bonuses (totaling more than $150 in …

Tiny Wisdom: Getting Our Own Approval

By in Confidence, Quotes

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” –Mark Twain

I currently have three inch dark blond roots growing into my golden hair because I’ve decided to go natural after a decade of consistent coloring.

I’m wearing large pink flower earrings that make me smile, even though they don’t really go with the yoga pants and tie-dyed hoodie I also felt like wearing.

I’m viewing my laptop through slightly crooked glassed because I sat on them two weeks ago, but they’re still functional, and I’d rather spend my money on new initiatives for this site.

In the past, I …

The Days Will Run Out

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“If we are not fully ourselves, truly in the present moment, we miss everything.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I heard this story recently while listening to a favorite radio show of mine. It was about this homeless man who was detailing some of his experience with homelessness.

He told stories of sleeping outside in the rain and waiting for hours to get into an overcrowded shelter. He even told a story about another homeless man, who could speak no English, who told him about how he had spent a sleepless night in a trash compactor because he felt safer and was …

Interview and Giveaway: Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project

By in Blog, Giveaway

Update: The winner for this giveaway has been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways! The winner: +sp.

I was perhaps the last person on the face of the planet to read The Happiness Project.

Earlier this year, a friend connected me with Gretchen Rubin, which prompted her to interview me for her blog. After I spent some time exploring her archives, I realized I needed to learn more.

If you’ve read The Happiness Project, you know Gretchen balances ancient wisdom with contemporary research to create …

Aid for a No-Good, Terrible, Very Bad Day

By in Blog, change & challenges

“The outer teacher is merely a milestone. It is only your inner teacher that will walk with you to the goal, for he is the goal.” ~Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

Recently, I had a very bad day. It was a day when certain life events made me so scared, so panicked I felt like I was floating in a dark void with no connection to anyone or anything, certainly not myself.

It wasn’t one bad thing that happened, just an accumulation of family stresses, worries, questions, uncertainty, and self-doubt that flooded my spirit. I had been going-going for many …

Tiny Wisdom: Knowing Why We Pull Out Our Gadgets

By in Knowledge, Quotes

“Self knowledge is the beginning of self improvement.” –Spanish Proverb

As you may remember from my post on Monday, I recently received an invitation to attend a live taping of an Oprah’s Life Class webcast.

I knew it was an interactive self-help experience, involving questions from the audience and people who Skyped in. It sounded right up my alley.

Before the taping, a woman led me and other bloggers to a reserved row and then gave us network information so we could tweet or Facebook from our iPads, iPhones, or laptops.

I only own a laptop, and I didn’t …

The One Thing That Helped Me Forgive My Father

By in Blog, happiness & fun, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.” ~Joseph Campbell

I stood in front of my father, man to man, and demanded an apology. His long absence and lack of interest during my formative years had burned within me a resentment that wouldn’t quit. My therapist suggested that I confront him as one adult to another, so there I was.

It didn’t go well. The more I pointed out his failures, the more defensive he got. The more I demanded an apology, the …