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Why Sometimes It’s Good to Be a Loser

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

I love the word loser. I enjoy playing with it, feeling into it, and feeling my own gut reaction to the idea of allowing myself to be one. Some of the time.

Our culture is obsessed with winning.

At school we learn that we have to compete to get what we want. Many of us grow up internalizing this idea and subtly infusing it into our relationships, friendships, career, and even spiritual path.

If this is strong in us, there can be a pervading sense of alienation, disconnectedness, or even mistrust that we carry around.

In my early days as …

Be Part of the First Tiny Buddha YouTube Video

By in Blog, happiness & fun

Sunshine & Smiles

As you may have noticed, there’s been a Tiny Buddha YouTube channel up for months now. There have been nearly 3,000 views on the page but, thus far, there aren’t any videos on there.

Today is the day that changes!

Since I launched this website in the fall of 2009, Tiny Buddha has been all about community.

Each week, I publish 4 blog posts from Tiny Buddha readers. I’ve published nearly a dozen posts that incorporated wisdom from members of the Tiny Buddha Facebook page. I even included tweets from Tiny Buddha Twitter followers in my upcoming book (available …

3 Simple Tips to Push Yourself to Try Something New

By in Blog, happiness & fun, meaning & passion

“Your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers.” ~Unknown

It was a few months into my semester abroad during my sophomore year in college when I realized how special the experience had become.

On the way to class, I strolled past the Pantheon and snacked on homemade gelato.

Preparing dinner consisted of purchasing fresh-picked produce and a fresh-cooked baguette. As my homemade pasta sauce slowly came to a pleasant boil, my roommates and I would sip the finest Chianti 5 euros could buy while eating salami and formaggio (cheese) so delicious it makes your mouth water just thinking about …

Tiny Wisdom: On Self Love

By in Love, Quotes

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

They say that love is a verb, and that’s not only true for our friends and family. If we want to be strong, confident people who can benefit others and the world, we need to make time to love ourselves in action.

We need to do the things that we know nourish our hearts and spirits, whether it’s yoga, meditation, or walking on the beach. Even if we’re overwhelmed—especially if we’re overwhelmed—we need to prioritize taking care of minds and bodies.

We …

3 Steps to Stop Making Comparisons and Start Valuing Yourself

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” ~E.E. Cummings

It seems like everywhere I look, I don’t measure up.

I was giving a presentation recently and noticed that several people seemed bored or distracted.  I looked around the room to gauge my audience’s response to something I said and found myself thinking, “Am I good enough?  Am I providing what this group needs?”

Suddenly, I felt sure that another, more talented presenter would have done a better job.

Later, with a friend, casually flipping through old photos, we both lamented that we were younger and …

Why Some Dreams Don’t Lead to Happiness

By in Blog, meaning & passion, work fulfillment

When I was 24 years old, I learned that some dreams are actually avoidance tactics, and some discouragement is a very good thing.

I was relatively new in New York City, and I felt overwhelmed by the prospect of failing if I tried to pursue my passions. I’d learned a lot about failure in the six years prior, and the only thing I knew for certain anymore was that I had to become someone important.

When I arrived at my interview for marketing job—as it was so descriptively advertised on Craigslist—I was surprised to find a room full of …

Tiny Wisdom: On Who You Were Meant to Be

By in Courage, Quotes, Success

“Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be.” -George Sheehan

I don’t know that I believe we were “meant to be” anything specifically, but I know that we all have greater intentions that often get suffocated under the weight of our daily responsibilities.

We all want to make the world a better place. We all want to mean something to other people. What that looks like differs for all of us, and sometimes it changes from one day, one month, and one year to the next.

But …

Overcome the Fear of Success: 6 Ways to Start Thriving

By in Blog, meaning & passion, work fulfillment


“He is able who thinks he is able.” ~Buddha

How would you answer the question: “Are you successful in life?”

I know many people who would say that they are not successful; at least they have not reached success in the areas that feel important to them. I have been one of those people.

One day I asked myself “What keeps me from being successful?” It took me a while to come up with the answer but I realized that I was holding myself back.

Why? Well, maybe I was afraid that when I started something I would fail. …

10 Steps to Simplify Your Work Life

By in Blog, healthy habits, work fulfillment

Office Buddha

“Life is actually really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” ~Confucius

While I have always piled a lot on my plate professionally, I’ve recently introduced more varied elements. Formerly, I may have devoted a long workweek to freelance writing, but I’m now juggling writing, consulting, editing my upcoming book, and promoting my recent eBook.

I’ve noticed that the biggest complication to my life isn’t necessarily the full, varied schedule; it’s how I think about that busy schedule.

Sometimes I let my to-do list overwhelm me, carrying the weight of the whole through all of the parts.

So, …

Mindful Indulging: Having What You Want Without Guilt

By in Blog, healthy habits

Donuts and Berries

“You only lose what you cling to.” ~Buddha

I used to cling to my identity as a person who didn’t eat donuts. To me, donuts represent all that is tempting and yet forbidden. Any self-respecting natural health doctor is not supposed to like donuts, right?

This image I held of myself almost cost me one of the important realizations of my life.

Twenty years ago I was in the midst of my training to become an Ayurvedic health practitioner.  I held tightly and proudly to my dietary restrictions like a fundamentalist’s religion.

This ancient medical system of India dictated that …

Tiny Wisdom: On Being Able

By in Attitude, Health, Hope, Quotes

“He who has health has hope, and he who has hope has everything.” –Proverb

We all go through phases when we feel hopeless. When everything gets overwhelming. Your bills, your responsibilities, your relationships, the dreams you put on hold—sometimes it all seems like too much.

In those moments the last thing you want to hear is that you’re lucky you can still walk or use all your senses. Those are things we all take for granted. Things that just are.

Except none of them are a given. The legs that allow you to practice yoga may one day be …

Dealing with Stress: 2 Steps to Create Harmony and Balance

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

Balance

“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.” ~Thomas Merton

“If you have aspirin, please take it now. It might be bitter, but if you’re having a heart attack, it will help.”

If I wasn’t already anxious, hearing this advice the nurse gave me certainly didn’t help. Fifteen minutes later, I was in the emergency room—a 34-year-old, physically-fit, overachieving, workaholic, enabling control freak—having the classic symptoms of a heart attack.

As I sat on the hospital bed, breathing as deeply as I could into what was happening, my mind started to race: Was …

Why We Often Fail with Goals and Resolutions

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment.” ~Pema Chodron

Statistically, a lot of people have given up on their resolutions by now. The definition of a resolution is “a firm decision to do or not to do something.”

When I examine the firm decisions I’ve made, I can’t help but notice that we all have the same lists. Why is that?

Could it be that the same media, the same books, and the same friends have written all of our lists? I’m not making a value judgment of these shared desires—I just find it …

Tiny Wisdom: On Giving Peace Away

By in Peace, Quotes

“If you wish to experience peace, provide peace for another.” -Dalai Lama

Most of the time when I feel overwhelmed, stressed, frustrated, or angry, it’s because I’m obsessing about my circumstances–everything that feels unfair or insurmountable and all the ways I feel powerless to change them.

In this state of mind, I inevitably stress other people out, whether I talk about my challenges or not.

It’s there, spoken or unsaid. It gets in the way of my ability to really be present with the people I love, and it affects their state of mind.

I’ve realized that the surest path …

Tiny Wisdom: On Imperfect People

By in Love, Perspective, Quotes

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” ~Sam Keen

There’s a popular musical that explores a common approach to love, titled I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change.

It happens all the time: We meet someone, we fall for all their strengths and quirks, and then soon start identifying ways they could change to better meet our needs.

I suspect we do this partly because we tend to blame the person we’re with when we’re feeling something we don’t want to fix on our own. But also, we …

We Are All Imperfect: How to Own it & Keep Growing

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

Imperfection

“Be what you are. This is the first step toward becoming better than you are.” ~Julius Charles Hare

A few weeks ago, I made a mistake.

I wrote a newsletter about my relationship with money, explaining that I used to get worried about money, but I feel differently now. I wrote that I’d realized that doing what I love is the most important thing.

As long as I am doing what I loved, I don’t have to feel anxious. I trust that the money will appear, without me having to chase it.

After I sent the newsletter out to …

Tiny Wisdom: On Everyday Kindness

By in Kindness, Quotes

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” -Aesop

Recently I read about a research study that suggested kindness is literally contagious. According to Science Daily:

“When people benefit from kindness they ‘pay it forward’ by helping others who were not originally involved, and this creates a cascade of cooperation that influences dozens more in a social network.”

One simple act of generosity, consideration, or thoughtfulness can literally have a domino affect, eventually touching people you may never meet. In a very real way, a simple act of kindness can expand your positive impact on the world …

A Simple Choice to Celebrate What Matters

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“There are exactly as many special occasions in life as we choose to celebrate.” ~Robert Brault

A few years ago it happened, and it couldn’t have come at a better moment.

At the time I was involved in a monthly get together with my cousins. We were a group of eight cousins getting together to talk about family and life in general.

It had started off when my sister was going through a nasty divorce, and one of the cousins came up with the idea of getting together to celebrate my sister’s birthday to bring some cheer into her life.…

Tiny Wisdom: On Not Knowing

By in Quotes

Screen shot 2013-04-23 at 3.41.09 PM

“I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.” -Gerry Spence

Many of the beliefs we consider facts are really just things we wish were true–comforting ideas that we’re scared to release.

The world and people feel a lot safer when you think you have them pegged, but the truth is that there’s far more we don’t know than do know, and that will likely always be the case.

If we can let go of our need to know and be right, we can be amazed, inspired, motivated, challenged, and filled with wonder every day.…

Conflicts with Friends: 13 Ways to Communicate Without Drama

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Treat your friends like you do your best pictures; place them in the best light.” ~Unknown

I recently had a disagreement with a close friend.

There was a good deal of uncontrolled emotion on my side. I wasn’t expressing myself well and I knew it. I became more and more frustrated and less effective at explaining my feelings.

I found myself laying unwarranted blame on my friend rather than admitting openly that something was hurting me and I was feeling vulnerable.

Ultimately, he said the words I was having trouble finding for me, and that resolved the situation.

I was …