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Posts tagged with “Happiness”

5 Lessons on Living a Long, Healthy Life, from a 90-Year-Old

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“In the end, long life is the reward, strength, and beauty.” ~Grace Paley

In September 2014, my grandmother turned ninety years old. She lives in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. It is where she has lived her entire life, and while my parents could have brought her to live with them in the US a long time ago, she has always preferred to live independently in her hometown.

I went to Rio to celebrate my grandmother’s ninetieth birthday. Although I was born there, I had not been back for over twenty-five years. I learned a lot about my country of birth, …

Healing Through Service: 20 Ways to Help Others (and Yourself)

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“To ease another’s heartache is to forget one’s own.” ~Abraham Lincoln

A feral cat tempered my most recent bout with depression. I wasn’t seriously depressed, nothing like the debilitating times in my past, but I had a fairly strong case of the blues.

It was just before Thanksgiving, that time of year when people across America break bread with family and friends, and I was feeling sorry for myself.

I missed the gatherings we used to have when I was married. My ex-husband and I both loved to cook and every year we put together a gourmet feast for a …

Everything Heals

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Source: Sun Gazing

7 Steps to Overcome Daily Despair and Start Living Again

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“If you cannot make a change, change the way you have been thinking. You might find a new solution.” ~Maya Angelou

Have you ever felt really stuck? Like every day was a struggle to get through and you knew in your heart the next day would feel the same?

For the last seven years—since the crash of 2008—I’ve been redefining myself, and it’s been painful.

In 2009 I opened an Internet retail store, knowing nothing about retail, let alone the intricacies of the Internet.

After years of hard work and little to show for it, every day began to …

How to Help a Friend Through Grief

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“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” ~Vicki Harrison

I’m no stranger to grief. When I was twenty-three I lost my mum, and then eight years later I lost my second daughter, Grace, when she was only one day old.

Soon after Grace died, my husband and I saw a grief counselor. He said something about other people’s reactions to grief that turned out to be one of the truest statements anyone has ever made to me.…

The Beauty of Being Single: 6 Benefits of Solitude

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“I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude.” ~Henry David Thoreau

Shock. Rage. Sorrow. Excitement. Terror. These are just a handful of the emotions one experiences in the aftermath of a separation or divorce. Emotional rollercoaster? It’s more like being hit with the speed and velocity of a bullet train.

I should know. After twenty-five years of marriage to a kind and accomplished man, I found myself alone.

Our decision to divorce was neither acrimonious nor cruel; neither sudden nor impulsive. Rather, our decision to file for divorce was an incremental process.

We had more disappointment than …

You Are Beautiful; Can You See It?

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“Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.” ~Confucius

This is my sister Cindy and me when we were little. If you look closely you may be able to tell that Cindy has Down Syndrome. This was a long time ago and one of my most favorite pictures. I am now fifty-eight and Cindy would be sixty this month.

I followed Cindy into this world and I was with her three years ago when she left. I am who I am in this world because of Cindy. She taught me all of the most important things about life through being …

How Getting What You Want Can Sabotage You

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“You can’t win enough. You can’t have enough money. You can’t succeed enough. The only thing that can satiate that existential thirst is love. I just remember that day I made that shift from wanting to be a winner to wanting to have the most powerful, deep, and beautiful relationships I could possibly have.” ~Will Smith

About a year ago, I made the decision to start seriously working out with weights for the first time in my life. I’ve always been an athlete and in decent shape, but I wanted to test my body and see how much of …

Pushing Yourself to Try When You’re Afraid of Failing

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“You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.” ~Beverly Sills

Before I became a teenager, I developed a characteristic and a disease that went hand-in-hand: I was a perfectionist, and I had an eating disorder.

While my perfectionism was helpful in succeeding at things such as school and sports, the same perfectionism helped to fuel a dangerous relationship with my own body.

Fortunately, I received treatment in high school, and I learned to handle my issues related to anorexia and bulimia in healthy ways. This process was neither easy nor simple, but …

The Keys to Finding Happiness After a Traumatic Childhood

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“It is never to late to have a happy childhood.” ~Tom Robbins

A few days ago, when my older brother and I were sorting through old family photos, we found a picture of us from when we were about five and six years old. We were smiling. Just two kids full of life with no idea of what was to come.

This was before the start of all the rage—before all the pain and an unfortunate series of events.

My childhood was rough. I know some people may wish to return to those young innocent years of playing outside …

Who Says We Have To Be Happy All the Time?

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“Develop a mind that is vast like the water, where experiences both pleasant and unpleasant can appear and disappear without conflict, struggle, or harm. Rest in a mind like vast water.” ~Buddha

When I think about having to be happy all of the time, I feel a certain kind of pressure. Sure, it’s different now then it was. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t cycles when I question everything.

Sometimes I can catch myself thinking that everything would magically fall into place if I had all the success I want in my career, the happily-ever-after relationship without any issues, or …

We Deserve Love Even When We Do Things We Regret

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“You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~Brené Brown

Do you have parts of yourself that you’d like to change? Maybe even parts of your personality you’re a little embarrassed by?

I do.

And if I started to list them I probably wouldn’t know where to stop.

I can be a complainer and whiner. Even worse, I sometimes turn into a martyr and feel sorry for myself. Other times I’m overly impulsive and have been known to have a really erratic temper.

But the thing is, we’re not our behavior. Often …

4 Tips for Managing Stress from a Combat Veteran

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“Buddha was asked, ‘What have you gained from meditation?’ He replied, ‘Nothing.’ ‘However,’ Buddha said, ‘let me tell you what I lost: anger, anxiety, depression, insecurity, fear of old age, and death.’”

“I never get stressed.”

I used to say and think this all the time when I saw someone freaking out about an upcoming test, a bad grade, relationship problems, or a boss or coworker.

I had a false sense of being “carefree” because I wouldn’t get stressed over the trivial things that most people did.

I was a “battle hardened” soldier recently back from a deployment in Afghanistan. …

How to Stop Being a Victim of Your Own High Expectations

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“The outward freedom that we shall attain will only be in exact proportion to the inward freedom to which we may have grown at a given moment. And if this is a correct view of freedom, our chief energy must be concentrated on achieving reform from within.” ~Gandhi

If someone asked you to recall the last time you were kind to yourself, would you struggle to bring up that memory?

At one point in time, I couldn’t remember ever being kind to myself.

I grew up with a lot of expectations from a demanding mother and other caretakers. Their expectations …

28 Ways We Sabotage Our Happiness (And How to Stop)

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“The simplest things in life are the most extraordinary.” ~Paul Coelho

Life can be frustrating. Things don’t always go according to plan.

People let you down, your loved ones seem insufficiently appreciative, the future seems uncertain, demands pile up, and stress invades your life.

You start to beat yourself up over mistakes. You might even start to question if you are worthy of love. Life loses its shine.

You’re not alone. Hundreds of millions of people feel this way. But pause for a little while to consider this story.

A personable young man approached me at a gathering and …

A Science-Backed Habit That Can Change Your Life for the Better

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“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” ~Epictetus

When I lost my aunt to cancer three years ago, her death sat over me for months and acceptance didn’t begin until I had dinner with Kathy, one of my best friends.

Over noodles, I shared with Kathy all the things I wouldn’t be able to do with my aunt: the conversations we would never get to have, the places we wouldn’t get to go, the food we wouldn’t be able to eat, and the grand-nephews …

6 Signs You Have a Strong Friendship That Will Stand the Test of Time

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“Friendship… is not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.” ~Muhammad Ali

Doesn’t it hurt?

You develop a friendship with someone who appeared to be decent but turned out to be a huge problem in your life.

I’m not talking about those occasional slip-ups like keeping you waiting at the coffee shop until 4:10 when the rendezvous was scheduled for 4:00.

I mean those things that completely slash the fabric of your friendship—stuff that truly hurts, like harsh words that prey on your weaknesses and sensitivities, or complete …

5 Ways to Create Amazing Friendships

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“To have a friend and be a friend is what makes life worthwhile.” ~Unknown

Studies show that perhaps the most important component of psychological well-being is not family, material possessions, or career successes, but rather our friendships.

For someone like me, that is terrifying news.

I have few friends. There are several reasons for that: I’ve moved often throughout my life, I’m an introvert, I was always deeply afraid of rejection. But the root cause was that I never learned how to be a friend.

Books and movies became my source of information about friendship and as a result …

Happiness Is a Way of Travel

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How to Reclaim Your Energy So You Can Follow Your Dreams

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“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” ~Dan Millman

I don’t care who you are or where you live, we all have one thing in common: We like to dream—to close our eyes and imagine that we’re living the life we were meant to lead. It’s a desire that’s imbedded in our DNA. To want more. Achieve more. Become more.

It’s why we start new businesses, write novels, learn to play the guitar, get our MBA, change careers, learn to cook, sew, or speak Swahili.

We’re …