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When You Want to Get Back to Normal but Life Will Never Be the Same

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Don’t waste your time looking back on what you’ve lost. Move on, for life is not meant to be traveled backwards.” ~Unknown

When I was thirty-eight, I was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer. During my treatment, one thought persisted: “I can’t wait until this is over and life goes back to normal.”

I clung to the belief that things would go back to how they once were, and all that needed to happen was for treatment to end. It gave me something to focus on that felt real during a time of disruption and uncertainty.

Unfortunately, when treatment ended …

Stop Striving, Start Stopping: How to Enjoy Life More

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.” ~Andy Rooney

Three months ago, I was blessed with an awesome opportunity—a free weekend break to Snowdonia, Wales.

Having experienced chronic health conditions for the past six years of my life, I had been hibernating.

My days were a black-and-white routine: wake up, drink a smoothie mix, go to work, meditate, come home, lie down, eat, sleep. Yet, my mind was always so busy filled with endless tasks, big dreams, and an expanding sense of pressure as I craved …

It’s Time to Stop ‘Fixing’ (Because They Need the Struggle)

By in Blog, love & relationships

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” ~Maya Angelou

I have always been a “fixer.”

I liked to fix people’s problems.

Someone feeling down and out? Let me fix it by trying to take away their pain.

Someone on the wrong life path? Let me fix it to get you back on track.

Someone I love making unhealthy life decisions? Let me fix it so they can be happier.

‘Fixing’ people made me feel good.

It made me feel needed and purposeful.

It made me …

How to Get All the Benefits of Meditation by Balancing

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Use only that which works and take it from any place you can find it.” ~Bruce Lee

Ding.

The meditation timer chimes, and through a small miracle of willpower you managed to sit through an excruciating ten-minute meditation session.

What you should feel is a sense of accomplishment. After all, you often skip it altogether.

But instead you feel frustrated having just spent the entire session fidgeting, lost in fantasies that involve bragging to a friend about meditating today.

Your “monkey mind” is strong. It’s like a whole jungle of monkeys in there.

I went through the same thing …

The Anti-Anxiety Techniques That Prepare You for a Crisis

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“You don’t have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you.” ~Dan Millman

One of the paradoxes of learning to cope with anxiety is that it often means you’re prepared for chaos and crisis. When everyone else is thrown by the uncertainty, you’re strangely at home because it is not as far from your day-to-day lived reality as it is to their’s.

I often joke that at a time of crisis, people with anxiety are like early adopters of the iPhone; we’re like “See, this is exactly what I’ve been telling you about!!! It …

When Happiness Hurts: How I Stopped Sabotaging Myself

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Disneyland is the star, everything else is the supporting role.” ~Walt Disney

“Just having a quick shower, I’ll text you before I leave x”

I’d received that text only ten minutes ago, so what the hell was wrong with me?

There I was standing in my kitchen like a mad woman, having a panic attack. My mind was in a frenzy with thoughts like “Does he even like me?” and “What if he doesn’t show?”  and I was crying uncontrollably. I hated myself for feeling like this. I’d ruined my makeup and gotten myself into a state over nothing.

Half-hour …

Why Presence, Not Time, Is Your Most Important Asset

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Wherever you are, be there. Lifestyle is not something we do; it is something we experience. And until we learn to be there, we will never master the art of living well.” ~Jim Rohn 

I have been told again and again that our time is our most precious asset. But I disagree.

The blogosphere is filled with tips on time management—how to get more for our time. I am willing to bet my life that you have come across many such tips online yourself.

You have probably even adopted some of them.

I myself am notorious for scouting the internet …

How to Say No Without Feeling the Need to Make Excuses

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” ~Brené Brown

Saying no is difficult for me. Whether it be to a loved one or a stranger, work tasks or a new hobby, something I enjoy or despise, saying no just plain sucks. So instead I say yes. I say yes to everyone and everything until I’m left exhausted, depleted, and with nothing left to give.

When COVID quarantine kicked-in I was forced to clear my calendar. Appointments, gatherings, travel plans—all cancelled. Instead of feeling disappointed, I began to feel …

The Most Common PTSD Myths and Symptoms, and How to Cope

By in Blog, change & challenges

“The dark night of the soul is a journey into light, a journey from your darkness into the strength and hidden resources of your soul.” ~Caroline Myss

Growing up in a household with both parents, my grandmothers, and pets, people often assumed we were the picture-perfect family. I participated in dance classes, sports, and we also had a lot of extended family gatherings. We lived in a pretty nice neighborhood, went to good schools, and both of my parents worked and were educated.

But, from a very young age, I witnessed and experienced frightening events and images no child should …

How to Enjoy Social Media and Stop Comparing Your Life to Others

By in Blog, love & relationships

“You never know what someone is going through. Be kind, always.” ~Unknown

A few months back I was at the park and passed a family taking what looked like holiday photos.

The mom’s hair was perfectly coifed, dad was nicely shaven and looking quite dapper, and four kids stood smiling between them—all wearing matching khaki and surprisingly clean white shirts.

I watched the khaki family out of the corner of my eye as I pushed a stroller along the gravel trail, thinking of what their holiday post might say as my baby yodeled her displeasure at facing the sun.

“Kayden …

I Am a Survivor, Not a Victim, and I’m Grateful for My Pain

By in Blog, change & challenges

TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of sexual abuse and may be triggering to some people.

“Emotional pain cannot kill you but running from it can. Allow. Embrace. Let yourself feel. Let your yourself heal.” ~Vironika Tugaleva

I was nine years old, sitting on the couch with my dad, watching a Very Brady Christmas (on my sister’s birthday, December 20th) when he first molested me. Terror, confusion, disbelief, and shame comingled to create a cocktail that would poison me for many years to come.

We grew up in a family that, from the outside, seemed …

How Are You Trading Your Time, Energy and Life?

By in Blog, happiness & fun, meaning & passion

“The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.” ~Henry David Thoreau

We all make trades in life.

We trade our time. We trade our energy. We trade our hard-earned money. We trade our attention.

Many of us move through life in constant motion, never stopping to reflect on where that motion is taking us. If it’s helping or hindering us. If the trades we are making daily are letting us live our best lives. If the trades are giving us more quality time with those we care about most. If we can turn up for …

How to Be Your Own Best Friend When You’re Grieving

By in Blog, change & challenges

“This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need.” ~Kristen Neff

Your best friend just lost her husband and her mother within five days of one another. Her husband was terminally ill. Her mother was eighty-six. You don’t know how she is going to get through this. You know that she was assuming that after her husband died, she would console herself by spending time with her mother. But that is not how it is going to work out.

Your best …

How to Welcome Uncertainty into Your Life and Release Your Worry

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Fear, uncertainty, and discomfort are your compasses toward growth.” ~Celestine Chua

Uncertainty can be the glue for anxiety if you allow it. One thing can snowball into another and soon you are looking at the road ahead, absolutely dumbfounded about which way to go. It shakes us to our core; it disrupts our security, our stable foundation and makes us feel unsettled, even a bit lost.

But can our lives change without uncertainty?

I don’t believe they can.

Two years ago, I found myself wondering: Is this all there is? The road I’ve been on is where I’ll stay; no …

How I Stopped Obsessing About the Wrong Things to Stay Healthy

By in Blog, healthy habits

“To change your life, you need to change your priorities.” ~Mark Twain

Every year, come December, I used to obsess about air pollution. This was the time when my husband and I would take our young daughter to Poland, the country of my birth, to spend Christmas with the extended family. There my anxieties would hit the roof.

Once the heating season kicks off, and the coal starts to burn in home furnaces, Polish air becomes unbreathable. The particle pollution may exceed norms by as much as 3000%. Some days you can actually feel the air burning the back of …

How I Found the Secret to Happiness in the Jungle

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

I’d like to bring it one step further and say, “Happiness is when what you feel, what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

Some people may argue that there is no need to add in “what you feel,” but I think there is. There is a difference between feeling and thinking.

For example, I thought I wanted to be a travel writer, I said I was going to be a travel writer, and I did …

Free Online Summit to Cultivate Mindfulness & Loving-Kindness

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

There’s no denying we’re living in stressful times, marked by uncertainty and suffering for many. We’ve all been through a lot this year. We were physically disconnected for months, and now many of us feel more divided than ever—politically, economically, and ideologically.

Many of us are grappling with grief, stress, and anxiety, while others are succumbing to fear, anger, and hatred—which only create more fear, anger, and hatred. We all need to collectively find a better way to live, starting within and then extending without, to the world around us.

How can we skillfully work with difficult feelings and learn …

How To Set Boundaries With Your Racist Relatives

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

As the Black Lives Matter movement gains traction across the nation and the world, many of us are being called to use the skills we’ve learned to improve ourselves⁠—such as speaking our truth, setting boundaries, and breaking the people-pleasing pattern⁠—to improve our communities, our countries, and our world.

Those of us who are allies are conveniently positioned to have conversations about racial justice with our family members, friends, and coworkers. However, historically, many of us have balked at these conversations out of fear of our own awkwardness, others’ anger, or the possibility of creating rifts in relationships.

In …

What Helps Me When I Feel Down About My Chronic Illness

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” ~Martin Luther King Jr.

A few months back, before the pandemic upended life for all of us, I went through one of those times when I could do nothing but sit at home and rest for my health’s sake.

I’d recently had another one of my surgeries; I was born with a genetic condition called vascular malformation, which grew and spread quite rapidly on my left cheek and into the mouth during my childhood. It’s the reason I’ve been paying visits to operation theaters for all …

How to Break Free from Your Inhibition and Start Living Life

By in Blog, happiness & fun, meaning & passion

“You are very powerful provided you know how powerful you are.” ~Yogi Bhajan

For most of my life, I felt that life was happening to everyone else and I just got to watch.

Someone else’s parents came to see their high school graduation and celebrated with them. I walked home alone.

Other people went to their own university graduation. I didn’t even bother turning up and had my certificate sent to me.

Other people dated and experienced what it’s like to spend their time with a variety of people in an attempt to find out who suits them and who …