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The Upside of Adversity: 6 Lessons from Thriving with Chronic Illness

By in Blog, change & challenges

“If you’re not willing to learn, no one can help you. If you’re determined to learn, no one can stop you.” ~Unknown

I vividly remember the day that I realized something was seriously wrong inside my body.

It was a Friday night. I was out with some friends after work when I suddenly started slurring my speech.

I’d been drinking soda water all evening.

I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I remember trying to stem the rising feeling of panic, to convince myself that everything was okay.

As I stared at my reflection in the mirror, noticing a …

The Power of “No”: Better Boundaries Lead to a Better Life

By in Blog, love & relationships

“’No’ is a complete sentence.” ~Anne Lamott

When I went to counseling for the first time, my therapist told me I needed better boundaries. I had no idea what he was talking about, and although the book he lent me on the subject helped a little, I still didn’t really get it.

I tried here and there to integrate the few concepts I’d picked up from the book into my life, but mostly I stayed away from anything that could be considered boundary setting, as I still couldn’t quite figure out what it meant.

A decade after my first introduction …

You Don’t Need a Guru; Life is Your Greatest Teacher

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Forget what hurt you, but never forget what taught you.” ~Unknown

I read a tribute Elizabeth Gilbert wrote for Richard from Texas who features in her book Eat, Pray, Love. It got me thinking that our teachers in life can take many forms and not always an obvious ‘traditional’ teacher.

In Eat, Pray, Love Liz went looking for a guru in India but learned a whole host of lessons from Richard, who was probably there seeking out the same guru for his own answers.

We can go through life looking for gurus, trying to learn from the experts, and …

How to Stop Beating Yourself Up Over the Little Things

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

“You are perfect just as you are and you could use a little improvement.” ~Shunryu Suzuki-roshi

A few weeks ago, I had a day that I felt like an utter failure.

I had eaten junk food even though I was trying to get healthy. I’d skipped out on going to the gym for no good reason. I forgot to call my parents even though I promised them I would. I didn’t meet my daily writing goals and ended up watching two movies I’d already seen.

In other words, I slid into a lot of bad habits all at once.

I …

Why It’s Okay to Be Right Where You Are in Life

By in Blog, letting go

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” ~Arthur Ashe

Whenever I go see my Rolfer Jennie, I look forward to the wisdom she shares with me. As a Rolfer and Bodyworker of twenty-five years and an expert in the mind-body connection, she has it by the bucket-load.

Recently, upon visiting her, I fell into my old familiar trap of wanting to be ‘fixed’ or perhaps wanting her to have a simple answer for me with regards to some tension in my inner leg that had been progressing (even though I’m fully aware things are never …

Courage Is Doing What You Really Want to Do, Even When You’re Scared

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” ~Ambrose Redmoon

It’s only 9:25am on a Saturday morning and I feel myself welling up already.

I know this is difficult. This might just be some of the hardest stuff he’s ever had to do.

I’m there. On the sidelines, watching him.

I know him so well by now and all of his little “giveaways.” His eyes looking for mine. Fidgeting.

We’ve agreed that he’ll give it a chance because he really wants to do this. REALLY, REALLY. There’s no doubt …

How to Find the Courage to Quit Your Unfulfilling Job

By in Blog, work fulfillment

“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand-and melting like a snowflake.” ~Francis Bacon Sr.

Isn’t it a shame?

You’ve studied and worked hard to get to where you are.

You’ve succeeded.

And you got that job.

But now, it just doesn’t feel right.

Well, I understand exactly what you’re going through.

Once upon a time, I thought I had it all too.

A great position, a great salary with generous bonuses, and I was working in the heart of the city …

9 Basic Needs We Have to Meet to Feel Happy and Alive

By in Blog, happiness & fun, healthy habits, meaning & passion

“No person, no place, and no thing has any power over us, for ‘we’ are the only thinkers in our mind. When we create peace and harmony and balance in our minds, we will find it in our lives.” ~Louise L. Hay

Seven years ago I felt a tangible sense of despondency about where my life was heading.

Having ended a six-year relationship, I found myself alone, feeling isolated, often with only a bottle of wine (or two) for company on a weekend. For the first time ever I wondered if I had depression.

After weeks of feeling helpless and …

How To Shine Your Own Light and Let Go of Envy

By in Blog, letting go

“As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence actually liberates others.” ~Marianne Williamson

“Look at her, who does she think she is?”

“He’s so full of himself. He’s so big headed”

Have you ever heard these types of expressions being used? Have you said them yourself?

I have.

Or at least I used to. I was taught to believe that people who shine their light were showing off. That they were brazen and big headed. But what does being full of …

Why Resolutions Don’t Work & How to Create Real, Lasting Change

By in Blog, change & challenges

“I can affect change by transforming the only thing that I ever had control over in the first place and that is myself.” ~Deepak Chopra

As the New Year quickly approaches, many of us spend time in review and reflection of the past year’s events and initiate strategic planning for the upcoming year.

We create and contemplate lists of resolutions, often featuring some of the same goals from the previous year. But we convince ourselves that this is going to be the year for change and transformation.

So, on January 1st, we arise, excited and committed to our new or …

Limited Edition “Just Breathe” Shirt Supporting Project Happiness (Last Day!)

By in Blog, happiness & fun

*Update: This campaign has ended. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for daily or weekly emails, and to learn about future shirt campaigns!”

Happy almost New Year, friends!

As you may remember, I originally launched a two-week shirt campaign, supporting the David Lynch Foundation, in November. Over 700 people ordered a shirt then, but many of you emailed asking me to relaunch the campaign, so I did! If you’d like to order a “Just Breathe” shirt, hoodie, or pullover, today is the last day to do so.

This time, a portion of the proceeds will go to the non-profit Project Happiness…

How Using Your Hands Creatively Can Reduce Stress and Anxiety

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“Making something, even imperfectly is empowering because it’s an expression of the self.” ~Alton & Carrie Barron MD

Do you ever suffer from stress or anxiety?

If so, you’ve probably tried to find relief, but finding something that works for you can be quite hard. We all react differently to different remedies, and what works for one person may not be the best remedy for you.

I used to suffer from stress and anxiety a lot. After trying lots of different remedies, I finally found relief in an activity I never considered would help.

I was locked into a life …

Take Your Power Back: How to Release Fear and Trauma

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of physical and emotional abuse and may be triggering to some people.

“I say I am stronger than fear.” ~Malala Yousafzai

“Don’t be scared.” It’s so easy to say, yet sometimes, for many of us, so hard to accomplish.

When I was about three or four years old, my dad locked me in the chicken coop in our back yard. This was a punishment. I was naked and screaming, literally jumping up and down with terror.

Another punishment consisted of my mother rubbing human waste in my face.

There are other things …

4 Ways to Change Your World by Being Kind

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Respond kindly to someone who is unkind to you.” ~Lori Deschene (from Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges, January 15)

Growing up with an alcoholic father, I was often on the receiving end of his anger. As a child, I didn’t realize his behavior was a reflection of how he felt inside and wasn’t about me at all.

I thought he was angry because I wasn’t good enough or I had done something wrong. I felt like if I could just be perfect enough, maybe he would love me. I tried and tried, but trying to be perfect didn’t …

When Someone Cheats or Mistreats You, It’s About Them, Not You

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser. So thank the past for a better future.” ~Unknown

I used to think when someone cheated on me that I was flawed.

You see, I had a core belief that there was something wrong with me. I never felt enough. I’m not even sure I can fully articulate this feeling, but whatever it was, I just didn’t feel enough. Slim enough, pretty enough, clever enough, worthy enough, or just, well, anything enough.

I’ve now come to see that when someone mistreats you it has almost nothing to …

Letting Go of Attachment: From A to Zen

By in Blog, letting go

“Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities.” ~Dalai Lama

If there’s one thing we all have in common, it’s that we want to feel happy; and on the other side of that coin, we want to avoid hurting. Yet we consistently put ourselves in situations that set us up for pain.

We pin our happiness to people, circumstances, and things and hold onto them for dear life. We stress about the possibility of losing them when something seems amiss. Then we often get stuck in …

5 Everyday Places Where You Can Find Presence

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Presence. It’s something that used to be an absolute mystery to me.

During my five years working in the fast-paced world of public relations, I was frequently running from one meeting to the next, nose in my cell phone, barely coming up for air and completely oblivious to the world around me.

Little did I know, I was missing out on so many moments during my day where I could feel grounded, grateful, and present instead of stressed out and anxious.

Today, life is much different. I …

25 Powerful Acts of Love and Kindness

By in Blog, love & relationships

The holiday season has the potential to bring out the best in us. Though the days get shorter and colder, somehow our hearts get bigger and warmer.

Maybe it’s the thoughtfulness handwritten on Christmas cards, maybe it’s the focus on giving over receiving, or maybe it’s the anticipation of celebration with people we love.

For many, it’s the reminder of what’s important in life—not what we do, what we earn, or what we buy, but how we treat each other, how we help each other, and how we use our gifts to make the world a better place.

Yes, the …

5 Unexpected Benefits of Being Friendly

By in Blog, love & relationships

“A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble.” ~Charles H. Spurgeon

What are the benefits of being friendly? Some might argue that there aren’t many advantages to it. These people might even tell you that you should mind your own business instead of trying to please everyone.

But is friendliness really just an attempt to please others? Is it really a sign of insecurity or even weakness?

I believe friendliness is a sign of inner strength and …

7 Things Everyone Should Learn Before They Die

By in Blog, happiness & fun, healthy habits, meaning & passion

“I would rather die of passion than of boredom.” ~Vincent Van Gogh

I attended an interesting event a few nights ago. It featured ten speakers who spoke for ten minutes each on ten things you should know before you die.

The speakers included TV and film stars, CEOs, cover-shooting photojournalists, traveling journalists covering natural disasters, and HIV survivors. As you can imagine, there was a wide spectrum of perspectives shared.

Here are a few of the lessons that stuck out for me. A lot of these can profoundly change your mindset, how you view the world, and how you choose …