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Tiny Wisdom: Less Pain, More Love

By in Anger, Love, Quotes

“The most important thing in this world is to learn to give out love, and let it come in.” -Morrie Schwartz

There are some people we feel we’ll never understand. They make choices we’d never make, they don’t understand why we do what we do, and they don’t give us what we need in our relationships with them.

Vegetarian author and advocate John Robbins had a man like that in his life. That man was his father, and the thing he didn’t know to give was love.

I saw John speak this weekend at Bonfire Heights, the retreat I …

Love is a Choice: 30 Ways to Love in Action

By in Blog, love & relationships

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” ~Sam Keen

I recently went with girlfriends to hear one of our favorite beach bands play. Since I turn into a pumpkin at midnight, I talked a friend into taking me home early.

While walking to our car, we witnessed a couple fighting. There was no pushing or shoving.  Fists weren’t involved.  Bizarrely enough, this couple was on opposite sides of the parking lot having their fight over their cell phones.

Due to the volume of their voices, the fight was …

Tiny Wisdom: The Power of Flexibility

By in Mindfulness, Quotes, Responsibility

“Stay committed in your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.” ~Tom Robbins

This is the post that almost wasn’t—and it’s chock full of irony.

This weekend I spoke at the first annual Bonfire Heights retreat.

The founder, Darius, promoted this event as a meeting of “ordinary people doing extraordinary things.” Listening to the stories presenters shared, it occurred to me that “ordinary” was a modest assessment. The lineup included the youngest TED speaker ever—a twelve-year old organic farmer; a teenage paraplegic who started a non-profit foundation called Walk and Roll; and multiple CNN Heroes, to name just a …

Living in Extremes: Releasing the Need for Chaos and Control

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” ~Gandhi

The next time I feel it urgent to text someone off Craigslist after 11pm, I may think twice.

I was obsessed with attaining the body of a fitness model. I had recently been laid off and when life gets tough, I go to work—on my abs. It’s hard to accept that I can’t sweat away my troubles or make my problems magically disappear by tightening my thighs.

I tend to be a little high-strung, and excessive exercise helps me cope. Or, it possibly just adds more fuel to the fire. …

Tiny Wisdom: Stillness in a World that Moves Quickly

By in Mindfulness, Quotes

“Within you there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.” -Hermann Hesse

Before I started this site, I had a different blog where I frequently posted uplifting videos. I quickly learned that the average web reader will devote one to two minutes before deciding that a video drags on. It’s a consequence of the rapidly moving digital era: our attention spans have decreased.

And we tend to get desensitized to concepts fairly quickly. Perhaps it’s because very little feels fresh in an information-overloaded online world, where there are millions of …

Simplify Your Life by Eliminating These 7 Problems

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun, letting go, mindfulness & peace

Life has a tendency to become overly complicated and stressful, particularly because things change so quickly. I’ve identified seven problems that you can eliminate to make your life a whole lot simpler (which doesn’t mean boring or less interesting).

Problem #1 – Too Much Responsibility

Think back to a year or two ago. How much extra responsibility has come into your life since then? You may have too much stuff, too many possessions, too many projects, and too many commitments.

Spreading yourself too thin reduces focus, increases stress, and lowers overall performance.

Too much stuff could include anything from a …

Tiny Wisdom: When You Fear Making Mistakes

By in Attitude, Courage, Failure, Fear, Mistakes, Quotes

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” -Elbert Hubbard

The other day I read that most of our fears can be boiled down to a fear of inadequacy, and, consequently, rejection. I know this is true for me.

When I feel a sense of panic about the potential to fail, it’s really more about being seen as a failure. When I make mistakes without witnesses, assuming the mistakes don’t cause me immense discomfort, I generally rebound fairly quickly. It’s almost like a tree falling the wrong way in the woods–if …

Taking Risks: 5 Things to Know Before Leaping without a Net

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun

“When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.” ~Unknown

It was the perfect storm.

In 2009 my best friend got married. At 48, having never been married, I once again caught the bouquet. Two months later, my mother’s home burned to the ground. At 70 years old, she lost everything, including a pet. Three months later, her husband died.

During the process of negotiating my mom’s temporary stay at a cabin resort, I fell in love with the cabin developer. To complicate matters, I was already living with a man who I had lived with, inconsistently, for 14 years.

To summarize, …

It’s Time to Make a Change: If Not Now, When?

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun

“What you are is what you have been. What you’ll be is what you do now.”  ~Buddha

These words resonate for me in a deeply personal way. The importance of being in the here and now, of recognizing that every moment is an opportunity to wake up to what is happening and what is possible, saved my life.

I was a compulsive eater out of my mother’s womb. The youngest of eight children in an abusive home, I used food to feel safe. I overate every day, hated myself for it, and yet could not stop.

I started addicted to …

Book Giveaway and Interview: One Minute Mindfulness

By in Blog, Giveaway

Update: The winners for this giveaway have been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha to learn about future giveaways!

The winners:

As you can likely tell from the number of author interviews/giveaways I’ve posted during these last few weeks, I’ve been receiving and reading a wide selection of books lately. One-Minute Mindfulness is now sitting on my coffee table, where I know I will refer it often.

The full title reads One-Minute Mindfulness: 50 Simple Ways to Find Peace, Clarity, and New Possibilities in a Stressed-Out World. It delivers on its promise.

From the Amazon Description:…

Tiny Wisdom: The Time is Now

By in Mindfulness, Quotes


“To be alive is to totally and openly participate in the simplicity and elegance of here and now.” -Donald Altman

We can find reasons to smile, if we look for the good in the now.
We can silence the thoughts that cause us pain, if we focus on what’s in front of us now.
We can change the things that aren’t working, if we make different choices now.
We can let go of the past and start from where we are, if we realize we’re free in the now.
We can be the people we want to be. The only …

Tiny Wisdom: Stressing and Pushing for Success

By in Happiness, Quotes

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” -Albert Schweitzer

Last week, I was part of the studio audience for a taping of the Jay Leno show. One of the guests was Glee’s Jane Lynch, who I learned has a new book out called Happy Accidents.

What struck me during her interview was her confession of struggling with chronic anxiety throughout most of her rise to fame. She always felt apprehensive about her decisions, unsure of whether or not she was doing the …

Realizing You Have Everything You Need

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun, meaning & passion

“He who has health, has hope; and he who has hope has everything.” ~Thomas Carlyle

I grew up in a small town, Maysville, Kentucky, where I led the perfect, sheltered life. After graduating from high school, I pursued higher education at a local community college, and from there transferred to The University of Kentucky in Lexington.

I had an interest in art, music, and media, pursuing a double major in journalism and communications. I dreamed about either working behind the scenes of a television studio, or becoming a certified systems engineer and working for my father’s employer.

Then a week …

Tiny Wisdom: Not Taking the Easy Road

By in Happiness, Possibilities, Quotes

“There are always two choices. Two paths to take. One is easy. And its only reward is that it’s easy.” -Unknown

I need to constantly remind myself to not do what’s easiest.

As I’ve mentioned before, I work from home. Many days, it’s tempting to pull open my laptop the second I wake up—which means I’ll likely spend the first couple of hours working in my pajamas, only to find myself feeling somewhat disconnected from the day outside my door.

I know this happens. I know that I feel better about myself when I get ready for the day as …

5 Reasons It’s OK to Not Know What the Future Holds

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

Silhouette

“The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with.” ~Tony Robbins

We spend a lot of time in life not knowing.

There are a lot of things that we’re comfortable not knowing. Not knowing a stranger’s name. Not knowing our credit card number or a friend’s address. Not knowing the capital of Vermont.

We’re comfortable with these things because we know there are answers. Even if we have to get on our smartphones for few minutes to find them, we know these things are all facts that actually exist.…

Tiny Wisdom: You Need to Forgive Yourself

By in Forgiveness, Love, Quotes

“Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.” -Leo F. Buscaglia

There’s a scene in the movie Good Will Hunting where a therapist named Sean repeatedly tells the wayward genius Will, “It’s not your fault.” This comes on the heels of a conversation about the severe abuse Will suffered from his foster father, which led him to a life of legal battles and underachievement.

The first time Sean says, “It’s not your fault,” Will responds with a nonchalant, “Yeah, I know.”

But as he repeats …

How to Move through Shame, Fear, and Regret

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun, meaning & passion

“If you are never scared, embarrassed, or hurt, it means you never take chances.” ~Julia Soul

The moment comes when you are on your knees.

You are filled with a knowing that there is something better. There is a life for you that you are not living, and you are ready to live it.

I call this the moment of awakening—the moment when you hear your soul’s cry for the next step in its evolution. You are ready to live your fullest expression.

Anais Nin said it best, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a …

Tiny Wisdom: We Want to Fly

By in Quotes

“One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.” -Helen Keller

The other day my boyfriend and I went to Disneyland, as we often do, since we’re annual pass holders.

Though my younger self would be ashamed to foresee this about adult me, I generally avoid rides with intense drops, because I have the stomach of a 90-year old. Yet somehow, the other day, I found myself in line for a roller coaster ride.

During the wait, I kept a laser focus on the part of the coaster that climbed to an inevitable plummet, completely dulling …

The Art of Ambivalence: Not Knowing Can Be a Good Thing

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with.” ~Tony Robbins                              

I drive my wife nuts. She has absolutely no trouble deciding how she feels or what she likes and dislikes. For me, those decisions don’t come easily.

She loves comparing notes with people about their favorite movie, favorite dessert, you name it. I can never pick just one. When someone asks me what I think, the answer’s almost always some version of “It all depends.”

This puts me at a disadvantage when my wife and I argue. Not …

Giveaway and Interview: Spirit Junkie by Gabrielle Bernstein

By in Blog, Giveaway

Update: The winners have already been chosen for this giveaway. They are:

Have you ever met someone, and then instantly felt a sense of rapport and respect? That’s how I felt earlier this year when I met best-selling author and speaker Gabrielle Bernstein.

After a stellar introduction from a mutual friend, I felt intrigued to meet this woman, known as a “happiness guru” in the mainstream media. Much to my dismay, I woke up that day feeling slightly under the weather and far less, well, happy, than usual.

It was just one of …