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It’s true: people can change. People can learn, grow, and surprise us. But if someone does the same thing, over and over again—if they keep hurting, disrespecting, or disappointing you—it’s time to accept the way things are and ask yourself if you can really live with this. You can’t make someone change their pattern if they’re not willing or ready, but you can stop participating in it.

My home will be a home with no loud anger, no explosive rage, no slamming doors or breaking glass, no name calling, shaming, or blackmail. My home will be gentle, it will be warm. It will keep my loved ones safe. No fear, no hurt, and no worries. I may come from a broken and twisted place, but I will build something whole and safe. I’ll sing in the shower again, cook with a smile, and dance in all the rooms. I will heal.

Stop shrinking to fit places you’ve outgrown.

Have a little faith in your ability to handle whatever’s coming down the road. Believe that you have the strength and resourcefulness required to tackle whatever challenges come your way. And know that you always have the capacity to make the best of anything. Even if you didn’t want it or ask for it, even if seems scary or hard or unfair, you can make something good of any loss or hardship. You can learn from it, grow from it, help others through it, and maybe even thrive because of it. The future is unknown, but you can know this for sure: Whatever’s coming, you got this.

It’s up to us to break generational curses. When they say, ‘It runs in the family,’ you tell them, ‘This is where it runs out.’

As you get older, you begin to understand more and more that life is not about what you look like or what you own. It’s about the person you’ve become.

All we can really do is love people. We can’t change them or make them do things they’re not ready to do. But we can love them… sometimes it’s from afar, but we can always send love their way.

Happiness turned to me and said, ‘It is time. It is time to forgive yourself for all of the things you did not become. It is time to exonerate yourself for all the people you couldn’t save, for all the fragile hearts you fumbled with in the dark of your confusion. It is time, child, to accept that you don’t have to be who you were a year ago, that you don’t have to want the same things. Above all else, it is time to believe, with reckless abandon, that you are worthy of me, for I have been waiting for years.’

Even though there are days I wish I could change some things that happened in the past, there’s a reason the rear view mirror is so small and the windshield is so big. Where you’re headed is much more important than what you’ve left behind.

Don’t be afraid to start over. This time you’re not starting from scratch, you’re starting from experience.

Divorce is okay. Breaking up is okay. Starting over is okay. Moving on is okay. Saying no is okay. Being alone is okay. What is not okay is staying somewhere where you aren’t happy, valued, or appreciated, that is not okay.

It’s the small habits. How you spend your mornings. How you talk to yourself. What you read and what you watch. Who you share your energy with. Who has access to you. That will change your life.

When someone comes looking for the old you, pulling triggers, but cannot find you, that’s healing.

You are being presented with two choices: evolve or repeat.

When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment it grows in, not the flower.

When trauma has shaped you, try not to confuse who you had to become with who you can be.

When it’s time for something new, you will feel it. You will feel a desire to let go, to shed layers, to move, to re-create. You will know because there will be subtle shifts all around you. You will release the old because you are really clearing the path for what’s ahead. Trust the process.

So many people from your past know a version of you that doesn’t exist anymore.

You can’t change the people around you, but you can change the people you choose to be around.

Sometimes deciding who you are is deciding who you’ll never be again.