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You’re not supposed to win or lose arguments. You’re supposed to reach a mutual understanding and agreement. Otherwise, you both lose.

Sometimes the worst things that happen in our lives put us on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us.

The only people who get upset when you set boundaries are the ones who benefited from you having none.

Some of the kindest souls I know have lived in a world that was not so kind to them. Some of the best human beings I know have been through so much at the hands of others, and they still love deeply, they still care. Sometimes, it’s the people who have been hurt the most who refuse to be hardened in this world, because they would never want to make another person feel the same way they have felt. If that isn’t something to be in awe of, I don’t know what is.

Sometimes things have to go wrong before they can go right. Sometimes we have to let the wrong people walk out before we allow the right people to walk in. Sometimes we have to feel weak in order to know what it’s like to feel strong. Sometimes you have to be broken to realize you’ll never be shattered.

Walk away from people who put you down. Walk away from fights that will never be resolved. Walk away from trying to please people who will never see your worth. The more you walk away from things that poison your soul, the healthier you will be.

I love when people that have been through hell walk out of the flames carrying buckets of water for those still consumed by the fire.

I don’t want to suffer, so excuse me if I excuse myself from situations that suck all of my energy.

When someone comes looking for the old you, pulling triggers, but cannot find you, that’s healing.

Agreeing to things just to keep the peace is actually a trauma response. When you do this you’re disrespecting your boundaries. No more making yourself uncomfortable for others to feel comfortable. You have control now. You run your life. Take up space and use your voice.

When trauma has shaped you, try not to confuse who you had to become with who you can be.

Even if we disagree about everything we can still be kind to each other.

Pick your battles. Nope. That’s too many battles. Put some battles back. Pick fewer battles.

If you avoid conflict to keep the peace you start a war inside yourself.

A lot of things broke my heart but fixed my vision.

Sometimes everything hits you all at once. You lose a relationship, change jobs, old friends go and new ones come. It’s up one day and down the next. You have it all together on Monday and by Thursday you don’t have a clue. Life is one big wave and all we can do is flow, grow, and adapt.

The biggest lesson for me this year has been ‘just keep going.’ Lost everything? Just keep going. Don’t know what you’re doing? Just keep going. $0.88 in the bank? Just keep going. People played you? Just keep going. No obstacle has been able to crush me. I keep going.

Severe early childhood trauma creates a child with equally intense coping mechanisms—these children are often seen as ‘mature for their age’ and ‘old souls.’ While maybe true, it often negates the fact that their innocence was taken away at an early age and they are in survival mode.

Know that this, too, will pass. Tomorrow you will wake up with 232 billion new cells in your body. That alone is reason for hope.

The strongest people are the ones who are still kind after the world tore them apart.