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You either like me or you don’t. It took me twenty-something years to learn how to love myself. I don’t have that kinda time to convince somebody else.

We need more people who are willing to say, ‘I’ve been there, and I’m here. You can always talk to me without judgment.’

Sometimes I wake up and have to remind myself: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME. I have patterns to unlearn, new behaviors to embody and wounds to heal. But there is nothing wrong with the core of me and who I am. I am unlearning generations of harm and remembering love. That takes time.

Dear self, don’t allow anyone to trigger you. Let it go. Walk away. You’ll be proud of yourself later.

Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.

You have no idea how long something you say can stay inside someone’s mind.

Tell people what you love about them. Less criticism, more compliments.

People will teach you how to love by not loving you back. People will teach you how to forgive by not apologizing. People will teach you kindness by their judgment. People will teach you how to grow by remaining stagnant. Pay attention when you’re going through pain and mysterious times. Listen to the wisdom life is trying to teach you.

Never apologize for being too much. Too passionate. Too strange. Too curious. Because no, you’re not normal, and that’s a blessing.

Kindness is choosing love over hate, light over darkness, compassion over judgment.

In the end, people will judge you anyway. So don’t live your life impressing others. Live your life impressing yourself.

You can’t be everyone’s hero. You can’t take away everyone’s pain, solve all their problems, and make them feel happy with themselves and their lives. All you can do is love them, and that’s all you have to do. Just love them in their messiness, their confusion, their grief. See them, hear them, and accept them without judgment. Then let them know it’s okay to be right where they are, and if and when they need you, you’ll be there.

Be the person who breaks the cycle. If you were judged, choose understanding. If you were rejected, choose acceptance. If you were shamed, choose compassion. Be the person you needed when you were hurting, not the person who hurt you. Vow to be better than what broke you—to heal instead of becoming bitter so you can act from your heart, not your pain.

Don’t judge yourself by your past. You don’t live there anymore.

Those who judge will never understand, and those who understand will never judge.

Please don’t judge people. You don’t know what it took someone to get out of bed, look and feel as presentable as possible and face the day. You never truly know the daily struggles of others.

Don’t judge people for the choices they make when you don’t know the options they had to choose from.

The truth is that the way other people see us isn’t about us—it’s about them and their own struggles, insecurities, and limitations. You don’t have to allow their judgment to become your truth.

Practice the pause. Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you’re about to react harshly, and you’ll avoid doing and saying things you’ll later regret.

Try to hold onto your faith in people. Hope and love accomplish a lot more than cynicism and judgment.