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5 Things That Stop You from Achieving Your Goals and How to Overcome Them

By in Blog, meaning & passion

“Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.” ~Oprah Winfrey

I’ll never forget being filled with utter disappointment as I watched my mum cross the finish line at the Paris marathon. I should have been celebrating her achievement. Instead, all I felt was regret for not crossing the finish line alongside her.

I had set myself the goal of running a marathon and invited my mum along for the …

Is a Subconscious Money Taboo Holding You Back?

By in Blog, letting go

“The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to reflect their inner beliefs.” ~James Allen

I was one of those who used to say, “Money isn’t taboo for me! Not in a million years!” That’s until I became aware of the knot in my stomach during a phone conversation with a potential business partner.

I intended to explain how I award commissions for client referrals.

“Well,” I said, “I offer a…gift to friends and colleagues who refer potential clients to me.”

“A gift?” he asked on the other side of the line.

“The gift is…uh…” My …

Why We Should Never Force Our Spiritual Beliefs on Other People

By in Blog, letting go, love & relationships

“A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find that after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us.” ~John Steinbeck

Around six years ago I started to meditate. I had a spiritual awakening, and life started to look really different.

I have always been a feeler and reader of emotion, but this was different. It was like I was synchronized with everyone around me, as if everyone else was connected to me in some strange and mysterious way.

It later …

7 Ways to Make Pain Work for You

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Grief can be the garden of compassion.” ~Rumi

Have you ever had lower back pain? I once wrenched my back and walked at snail’s pace for weeks, crippled by pain. Lower back pain troubled me for years, until I found an exercise that reliably switches off the pain.

Have you ever lost a loved one? The anguish can seem unbearable.

Abolishing pain might seem a good idea, but please pause to consider this story.

I was once the doctor and scientist on a health “mission” with a major international organization. Our team included a vivacious and intelligent young lady …

How to Be Happier Without Making Any Big Life Changes

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now.” ~Robert G. Ingersoll

In 2014 I changed my whole life.

I quit a horrible job, traveled to Costa Rica and Panama, moved across the country, moved in with my partner, and landed my dream job in an education charity.

Why did I change so much? The answer is simple—happiness.

I had spent three years planning and dreaming of a different future for myself. One where I could travel, have a job I found meaningful, and live with my boyfriend in our own flat. Finally, …

5 Simple Practices for a Healthier, Happier Life

By in Blog, happiness & fun, healthy habits

“To ensure good health: eat lightly, breathe deeply, live moderately, cultivate cheerfulness, and maintain an interest in life.” ~William Londen

Who doesn’t want to be healthier and happier?

Too often we focus on one and not the other and wonder why we achieve neither. We neglect to realize that health and happiness often go hand in hand.

I spent my teens trying to lose weight because I thought being skinny was the key to happiness.

I spent my twenties ignoring my health, abusing my body, and looking for happiness in superficial relationships and my status …

5 Beliefs That Hurt Your Relationships (And How to Let Them Go)

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.” ~Tony Robbins

“I’m not great at relationships.” This is something I used to say all the time, to others and myself.

I’d had quite a few unhealthy friendships that ended in dramatic showdowns when our combined issues proved toxic.

My romantic relationships weren’t any less volatile—largely because my deep-seated shame affected the type of men I attracted and compromised my ability to be there, with and for others.

But even after making significant progress with my insecurities and working through some painful experiences from my past, I realized I …

A Simple Phrase That Can Prevent Arguments and Resentment

By in Blog, love & relationships

“It’s not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean.” ~Tony Robbins

I am always making up stories about what others think of me or what they really meant when they made that comment. And I typically make up the worst case scenario. According to my brain, everyone is mean-spirited and ridiculing me.

This is not an uplifting way to live one’s life. The pessimistic stories I create are generated in part by my low self-esteem, and by convincing myself they’re true, I continue to fuel it. My constantly negative perceptions …

Fitting In Is Overrated: Embrace Your Uniqueness to Find Meaning in Life

By in Blog, meaning & passion

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have you ever felt different—like you don’t fit in at all?

Do certain things captivate other people but leave you struggling to find meaning?

What about the big picture? Maybe you feel you chose the wrong career, or you wonder if you were born into the right family—no one else seems to think the way you do.

Feeling different can be unsettling in a world that values sameness. You can derail your confidence and your progress by demeaning …

Choosing Inspiration Over Intimidation: How the Unknown Can Empower You

By in Blog, letting go

“When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Lately, I have been reflecting a lot on what I was like when I was kid.

Back then, what I didn’t know seemed magical. It gave me room to imagine, to fill in the blanks with my own creative inspiration, and to live with a sense of wonder and awe.

I loved fantasizing and daydreaming and imagining what magical situation might be brewing in my life.

As children, curiosity was a natural and automatic part of us, and what we didn’t know didn’t scare us. …

Why We Should Accept Our Foes and Adversaries

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“Happiness can exist only in acceptance.” ~George Orwell 

Reading the above title, you may be thinking, “Why should I accept people who are trying to harm or cause me trouble? They are the last people I would want to accept!” I know I used to feel that way.

It’s clearly unnerving to think about accepting those that we feel are toxic, and even more challenging to do so.

However, when I look back, I now realize that I suffered unnecessarily from my refusal to accept such people, both in terms of greater personal anguish and poorer results.

This became …

Relinquishing Control of Others: 5 Ways It Serves You

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Selfishness is not living your life as you wish to live it. Selfishness is wanting others to live their lives as you wish them to.” ~Oscar Wilde

My mother is a huge control freak. I am told she got it from my grandmother, who basically ran everyone’s life.

Regardless, growing up, I noticed that she really struggled with relinquishing control of what we were all doing with our lives.

It was partly out of love because she just wanted what was best for us, and partly because she feels a sense of panic when she doesn’t know what’s going to …

Grieving a Loss That Feels Like a Death

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go, love & relationships

“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” ~Vicki Harrison

Most grief books are written to help you mourn the death of a loved one and learn how to deal with their absence in this world.

Death is probably the most challenging thing a human can face. It breaks us down. It brings us to our knees. Some people are so significant in our lives that the mere thought of living without them feels incredibly overwhelming and incapacitating.…

Life Goes on After Loss: Tiny Steps To Work Through Grief

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

“I realized, it is not the time that heals, but what we do within that time that creates positive change.” ~Diane Dettman

Two weeks ago I found out that a friend passed away. He died eight days after my birthday at the age of twenty-six, and that fact has been hard to swallow, as I didn’t know that my time of celebration would also be a time of grief.

The details surrounding my friend’s death are unknown; all I know is that it happened suddenly, and it was a huge shock to me and other friends that knew him. …

4 Ways to Deal With Criticism So It Doesn’t Get You Down

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“The final proof of greatness lies in being able to endure criticism without resentment.” ~Elbert Hubbard

Are you afraid of receiving criticism?

Even if it’s minor or well-meaning, criticism can feel like a punch in the gut.

And if you let it, criticism can leave you feeling down and resentful for days or weeks after.

As the music director at my church, I occasionally receive negative feedback from members of the community.

After services one Sunday, a congregant came up to offer some critique of my music selections. At first it felt like a full-on attack. I didn’t even have …

When You Want to Judge, Be Curious Instead

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Curiosity will conquer fear more than bravery ever will.” ~James Stephens

Earlier this year I wrote a pretty honest and open article about how I was trying to be less judgmental.

As with anything new, there’s a learning curve. Letting go of judgments hasn’t become a natural and automatic part of my life quite yet, but a skill I’ve recently learned that’s making a huge, huge difference can be summed up in one word: curiosity.

Let me explain: I recently finished Brené Brown’s newest book Rising Strong. It’s all about getting up after a hard emotional fall, and what …

Dealing with Toxic Relationships and Finding Emotional Freedom

By in Blog, letting go, love & relationships

“We would do ourselves a tremendous favor by letting go of the people who poison our spirit.” ~Unknown

My husband and I both have living grandparents. My daughter has met the grandparents on my husband’s side, but she hasn’t met mine. Some think I’m cruel for not taking her to meet my grandmother because I had an excellent relationship with my great grandparents.

Some ask why I haven’t contacted her in the two years since my only child was born. I could give a long drawn-out response and try to explain why I gave up on a relationship with my …

What to Do When Your Relationship Feels Stale and Stuck

By in Blog, love & relationships

“To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.” ~Mother Theresa

There comes a point when every couple arrives at the same crossroads. They ask: Is this relationship still the most important thing? Are we doing this well? Do we still love and support one another? Are we still open, honest, and giving?

Often these questions come after years of marriage and a slow realization that mediocrity has set into the relationship.

For those who’ve had a bumpy road and have developed a keen awareness that relationships take work, the questions come earlier and a little …

10 Ways Creativity Can Completely Change Your Life

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Life is a great big canvas. Throw all the paint you can on it.” ~Danny Kaye

I’ve had those days when I felt like my life was in the doldrums. When I felt stuck in the same-old, same-old and wondered how to get a pick me up. When I wished I had more passion or purpose or maybe just a jolt of joy to shake things up.

Sometimes there were things I thought might make me happy, but I couldn’t have them just because I wanted them. Like, I couldn’t just snap my fingers and meet the man who …

You Are the Author of Your Life Story (So Write One You’ll Be Proud Of)

By in Blog, change & challenges, meaning & passion

“When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen.” ~Unknown

I grew up without a TV in my household. While most of my friends were talking about their favorite shows, I’d pretend to understand, nod along, and try to laugh at all the appropriate times.

While I had missed out on most of the shows and movies available during my youth, I didn’t miss out on all of them.

Whenever my dad would need to work late, my mom, sister, and I would head to his office and get set up in a conference room …